It's Like That
by Mikki Larentis
Summary: Random Title, sorry. My version of New Moon. Edward leaves Bella, and she becomes a vampire. What happens sixty years later when they are brought together again? And what about the guy who likes Bella?
1. Heartless

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

_**Preface **_

_I got up from the ground I was laying on. It had been three days in pure hell, I wished for death, I screamed for it to end. And it did end. I ran to the beach, moving unhumanly fast. I looked in the water at my reflection. My skin was pale, and I was beautiful. My eyes were blood red. I was a vampire. _

**Chapter One [Bella's Point of View] **

It had been months since _he_ left me. I still couldn't say his name. I wasn't recovering. I still loved him with all of my heart, and I wished that he loved me too. I hunched over in pain at the thought of him. My acting skills had improved a little, but not enough for Charlie not to notice the pain I went through every day without him. High school wasn't becoming any more bearable. I tried to keep my old friends, but I could sense that they were scared of me. Scared because they didn't understand the pain I was going through, but they knew I was in pain. They were scared because I basically became the living dead. The only time I felt remotely happy was my time with Jacob. He was my best friend, but I knew he wanted more. There was a point in our relationship when I thought I could be more for him, but after our first kiss I realized I was just acting, so as not to hurt Jake. Luckily he realized this, and it made our friendship awkward for a while, but we sorted things out.

**One Year After **_**That Day**_

It was the anniversary. The anniversary of the day that Edward left me. I missed him so much, my one true love. I got up, after drying my tears, and went to my car. I set out, driving but not sure where I was going. When I stopped I realized that I was right in front of the path that lead to _our_ meadow. Well, I guess it was just a ordinary meadow, but it held so many memories. I wandered through the forest until I finally arrived. Then I remembered the last time I'd been there I had been attacked by Laurent. The pack saved me, and I was forever grateful. I knew Victoria was out to get me, but I was just with Jake, and he had no news to report on that subject. I lay down in the grass. Then I turned on my side, curled up and began to cry. For a while now I tricked myself into thinking I was strong enough to handle the pain, the _agony_. But I wasn't, especially today, in this place, so full of memories of him. And he wasn't here, the realization just made me sob harder. My vision was clouded by tears, so all I could see of the person I just heard approaching was their brilliant red hair. Then I froze, my body and my tears. It was Victoria.

"Hello, Bella." she said, in an evil voice.

"Hello, Victoria." I tried to keep my tone polite, though I was really scared.

"You must know why I'm here."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Edward took my mate from me. Now I'm taking his."

"You're wrong."

"Am I?"

"Yes. Edward doesn't love me anymore. He won't care, well he might feel guilty but that's it. You won't get the reaction from him you were expecting."

"A lie."

"No its not! I wish it were! He doesn't love me! He doesn't care what happens to me! I'm just a boring human!" Then an idea came to my head. "In fact, I have a new boyfriend, he's not as great, but I love him. Edward doesn't love me anymore. Please don't hurt me." I hoped that maybe she would spare me. It hurt to even say that I had a new boyfriend, but I hoped it would help her believe my story. I didn't want to put Charlie or Jake through the pain of my death, it wouldn't be fair.

"I don't believe you."

"Please." I whispered.

"No." Then she lunged for me, and bit my wrist, my other wrist just like James had. She begun to drain my blood. Then all of the sudden she was knocked off of me. I heard wolves howling. Jake's pack! They came to save me again. Then I screamed. I felt that same fire as the first time with James. I screamed. I begged for death. The wolves disappeared, and came back in human form. "She bit her." Jacob whispered.


	2. Be Without You

**Disclaimer: **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Chapter Two. **

**[Alice's Point of View] **

My mind was taken over by a vision. Bella, she was alone in the meadow with Victoria. Bella was pleading for life. She mentioned a new boyfriend. Victoria bit her, and the wolves came. I saw them for a second and the vision went blank. I had to tell Edward. But I couldn't, it would upset him. The wolves would find some way to save her. I knew it would upset Edward to know that she had moved on, and that she had changed. I really wanted to see Bella, but I knew that was impossible. Life now was so horrible. Edward obviously needed Bella, but he stuck stubbornly with his promise. There was no changing his mind, even though it would release him of his pain. Just to see her again. I would now have to block my thoughts from Edward. Life, well exsistence just got a lot harder.

**[Bella's Point of View] **

I was a vampire. I got what I always wanted, but realized that I didn't really want it without my vampire family. But at this point I had no choice. I remember Jacob being there, but I couldn't see him now. Just as I was thinking this I heard a faint rustle of movement behind me. Jacob approached me cautiously. I ran to him and hugged him. He looked shocked. I was too, I was in complete control, I didn't want his blood. All that bothered me was that he stunk like werewolf.

"Jake, you all saved me again! Thank you so much."

"But—but you—you're a vampire."

"So? Come on, its me Jake."

"Well it will take a little getting used to, and some sort of treaty will have to be made…"

"I think I have pretty good self control. I should hunt though. And I have to make up an explanation for Charlie."

"He has been worried about you for the past few days."

"Oh right! I've been gone. What did you tell him?"

"I told him that you went to your old house, just to go think, but then I convinced you to come back. He is expecting you."

"Do you think I can handle it?"

"Go hunt first, then I will take you around some humans. Just to see. I'll keep you away from them, if it ends like that."

"Thanks, Jake."

And so I hunted. It was all such a weird experience. I was lost to my senses, sharper than the ones I had as a human. Jacob stayed far away, just in case. I was so glad to have somebody help me through my transformation. Then I immediately felt the hole. I gasped and had to hold myself together. I thought that as an immortal vampire I would be stronger, but I was the same old Bella. Whenever I imagined myself as a vampire I saw him with me. I never pictured being in this alone. I had always pictured me joining his family. Becoming one of them. Now I knew that would never be. Eternity seemed like a long time to be alive. I didn't want to live forever without him. I wanted to live long enough to spend my time with Charlie, and Renee and Jake. The three people who loved me most, now that he and his family left me. After those three would die, I cringed as I thought this, I didn't know what I would do. After hunting for a little while longer, I felt full, and ready to see Charlie.

"Alright Jake, I think I'm ready." I said trying to hide the pain I was just recovering from.

"If you feel any discomfort, tell me, I'll do what I can."

"Okay."

We sat in silence for a while on the drive to Charlie's house. Then something from the past occurred to me.

"We're not going to become enemies, are we?" I asked him remembering that vampires and werewolves don't mix.

"No of course not, Bella. You're my best friend still. I wish you were still human, but now I realize that this is a lot better than losing you."

"Good, because you're almost all I've got for friends."

When we got to Charlie's Jake decided to help me explain things to him. Jake went in first and changed forms in front of him. Together me and Jake explained that there were strange things out there, and that we were parts of it now.

"If you don't want me near you anymore, dad, I understand." I said looking at the floor.

"I'll always love you Bella. No matter what you are. Do I get to know what you are?"

"If I tell you it would put you in danger."

"Okay, and what about Renee, I mean your mother?"

"I don't know how to explain this to her."

"I'll have a talk with her. You're not going to lose us too, Bella."

I knew what he meant by that. I think Charlie was beginning to sense that I lost a lot when Edward left. Charlie cared for me, and I loved him. At that moment I wanted to hug him, but I kept my distance, not wanting to test my self-control.

For the next few months I lived outside in the forest. I came home to Charlie a lot, but I didn't want to put him in danger. But I developed self-control quickly for a newborn. I remembered what Edward once told me, mind over matter. I was going to be around forever, and Charlie and Renee weren't. I would have to get used to their scent to spend as much time with them as possible. And I did. After about 10 months of being a vampire, I moved back in with Charlie. To explain how I now looked, and my disappearence to the town, Charlie told everyone that I moved back with my mom for a little while, and that I got plastic surgery. It wasn't the best explanation in the world, but it worked. I was actually somewhat happy. Unless I thought about him. I still loved him, and missed him. I reminded myself that I had forever to think of him, to wonder about what he was doing, to cringe in pain at his memory. However I did not have forever to be with Charlie and Renee, even Jake. I officially lived with Charlie until I was about 25. That's when we decided that I looked to young to pass for my age. I still stayed with Charlie, but nobody but the people of La Push and Charlie knew I was still in Forks. They all thought I left to live in New York City. I didn't spend all my time with Charlie though. Every month I would go for a week to Florida to be with Renee. Charlie talked to her, and though she was worried at first, she got used to the idea. I spent as much time with my parents as possible. I think they got the gist that I would be around for a while, so they didn't mind. Sometimes I broke my own rule and thought of Edward. Whenever I did I would cry, in tearless sobs. Crying without producing tears was weird, I thought that I wouldn't be able to feel the same emotions but I did. I felt the agony, all right.

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**Author's Note: Yeah so I have all these chapters written. But I don't know if they're any good. Can I please get some reviews of what it's like so far? Pleaseee. I'll just go ahead and say thanks for reading AND Reviewing! **


	3. Start All Over

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter 3 **

**Bella has been a vampire for 60 Years **

**[Bella's Point of View] **

Now life had changed for me. It was agony. Both Charlie and Renee had died. I missed them so much, they helped me through my life without him. I had devoted my life to getting in as much time with them as possible, and I think I did. But it was still hard to think that they were gone. Jake had imprinted, so I didn't want to spend all my time with him, I knew he and his girlfriend would want their personal time. I still remembered what it was like to be in love. Well, I was still in love, so I remembered what it was like to be in love with somebody who loved you back. It had been such a long time. I was really 68 years old, but I was 18, forever. I decided that I would move to New York, and I was a photographer for a newspaper. I didn't really go out in the day, so I spent most of my time inside, pondering my existence. There wasn't much of a reason to live anymore. My only friend left was Jake, and I knew as soon as he died, however long that would be, I would be completely alone. Just the thought of it made me cringe. I cursed being a vampire. I wished I could die, just so I didn't have to sit around and realize that nobody loved me. Even as a beautiful, strong, vampire he still didn't want me. I didn't think I could survive forever like this. I would never find anybody else, and I would never stop loving him. The only solution was to die. But I couldn't bring myself to find somebody to kill me, it was just to complicated. I decided to go visit Jake, in fact I wanted to move back to Forks. I would make new friends, more people to live for, and I would get to see Jake and the pack more often. And I would finally get to meet his girlfriend. Maybe we would become friends. Maybe she would hate me. Either way I would have _something_ more to do. So I headed to back to Forks, back to where it began, back to start my new life.


	4. All You Need Is Love

**Chapter Four **

**[Edward's Point of View] **

My life for the past sixty years had been pointless. I hadn't done anything. All I did was mope around, and make my family miserable. I wanted to know how Bella was doing, and I could sense that Alice knew. But she learned to block her mind from me, completely. She was really good at it. I could still read her thoughts, but they were thoughts blocking what she was truly thinking. I wondered if Bella had married and had kids. That's what I wanted for her, right? To be happy, without me putting her in danger. But the thought of Bella with any other man made me angry, and depressed. I wanted her to be with me. I'd always regretted my decision to leave her, and I did come back to see her once. But when I was about to sneak in through her window I heard the thoughts of Jacob Black. He was kissing her. It was no fantasy. She had moved on, and I couldn't ruin that by showing up, not that she'd care. She wouldn't forgive me, and I didn't deserve forgiveness.

**[Bella's Point of View] **

First thing I did when I got to Forks was to look for a house. I bought a small place that reminded me of my old house. Once I brought the few things I had into the house, I got on my motorcycle and went to La Push. I pulled up in front of Jake's house. I looked through the window to see that he and his girlfriend were having lunch. I let out a sigh of relief, glad that I wasn't interrupting anything, well intimate. I knocked on the door, and Jake answered it.

"Bella?" he said. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Well, I'm here. Is it a bad time?"

"Of course not!" and he hugged me just like he used to, except now I could breathe. His girlfriend walked up behind him.

"Bella, this is Alli, my girlfriend." Jake said.

"Hello, Bella." she said shyly.

"Hi, Alli." I said smiling.

"Well I'll let you two get to know each other."

Alli and I walked to the living room and sat down. We sat and talked and realized that we had a lot in common. By the end of the night we became good friends. I always had so much fun when I was with Jake, and now with Alli too. We played Apples to Apples for a while, all laughing at the strange things we picked. When it was time for me to go, I hugged Jake and Alli.

"I'll visit again soon. I'll be around." I said.

"Have you moved back to Forks?" Jake asked.

"Yup, I just got a house today."

"We'll have to come visit you." Alli said.

"Anytime. I'd love to have visitors." I replied.

With that I got on my motorcycle and sped home. I was happy for Jake. Alli was perfect for him, and they seemed happy together. This made me a little jealous. I wished that I could have my soul mate too, but he left me.

I knew that school on Monday would be hard, it held so many memories. But knowing that people who cared about me still lived made the outlook better. I was not alone in the world; I had Jake, and now Alli. With any luck I would make more friends at school.

And I was right. I made friends at school. And it turns out that Alli went to school Forks High School too. She introduced me to all of her friends, who were all nice to me. For once I kind of felt like I fit in.

Over the past 60 years I learned to converse easily with humans, and they didn't see me as a freak. In fact, I seemed to be getting a lot of attention from some guys. I didn't care though, there was only one man I could ever love, and he was never coming back to me.

I was friends with one really sweet guy, and as time passed we actually became best friends. I could tell he liked me, and all I could think was _here we go again_. At least when Jacob liked me, I knew he would eventually imprint on somebody and get over it, but if this guy didn't get over his feelings for me, I wouldn't know how to turn him down. Luckily I made it through my junior year without Jonathan, that was his name, asking me out, and the other guys who asked me out were easy to turn down. All summer I spent my time with Jake and Alli, or my other friend Mia and her boyfriend Mark, or Jonathan. A lot of times all of us would hang out, and Jake's friends would come to. I felt like I was part of something. Last time I was in Forks I didn't have any real friends. It was saddening to know that soon they would be going away to college, and that I wouldn't be able to see them in person again, except for Jake and Alli. Unless I told them the same story as Charlie. But it would be hard watching them grow old and die, what I wished I could do now. Now that I would be alone, _forever_. But then again I wasn't alone, not for the time being, I had friends. I focused on that. I focused on being a good friend to them, just like I focused on being a good daughter with Charlie and Renee before. I would _not _allow myself to think of him. Not at all. If I did everything I worked for, the small sense of happiness and security I had for the time being, it would all come crashing down. I dared him to come back into my head, to ruin things for me, to bring love back into my life. And so he didn't, he stayed away, and I tried to fill the hole with the love that comes with friendship. The hole still existed though; it seemed to never go away.

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**Author's Note: Yeah so please read and review. And like I know its supposed to be the future I'm writing about, but I'm going to make like all the technology and stuff similar to the stuff used today, just because its easier for me. **

**Please tell me what you think! **

**THANKS**


	5. See You Again

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter Five **

**[Edward's Point of View] **

"We're moving back, Edward." Alice said.

"No, please, we can't." I pleaded. The memories of her there were too great, I didn't think I could bear it.

"No matter where we go you are the same, Edward. You miss her. Going to Forks won't change that. I'm sorry for the pain it will bring, but I want to go back. We had a good life in Forks."

"Alice…"

"You weren't the only person who loved her you know. I miss her too. You're constantly putting us in pain too. It seems its inavoidable. Going Forks won't change that."

"Fine."

I sulked back up to my room and began to throw things into a box, not caring about order. Nothing mattered in my life now. I wanted to be with her.

To see her beautiful face, to hold her soft body in my arms, to smile as she blushes, I wanted my Bella.

But of course by now she was somebody else's Bella. That thought angered me. Whoever it was better be good enough, they better be taking care of her. Was it Jacob Black?

I had seen them kissing. But he could have imprinted on somebody else. Who was she with? Was she with anyone? Was she happy? As these questions ran through my head,

I imagined Bella with another man. Smiling at him, cradling their baby. Of course she was older now. Then a dark thought passed through my mind. Was she still alive?

More questions flooded through my mind as I threw my belongings into boxes. Back to Forks, back to where it all started, back to where it all ended. Where I ended it.

**Bella's Point of View **

"How was your summer?" Jonathan asked polietely.

"Like you wouldn't know. I saw you all the time during the summer!" I said laughing.

"I know, but it's the cliché thing to ask on the first day back to school."

"Well, if you must know. I had a great summer. One of my best." My grin faded as I remembered my summer with Edward, my best summer.

"Very convincing. I understand, I'm not very interesting, am I?"

"No it's not you. I was just thinking of something—something else."

"Oh, good. You had me worried there. So what's your schedule?"

We exchanged schedules and I was happy to see that we had Advisory, P.E., and Calculus together.

"Shall I walk you to Advisory then?" he asked me in a fake British accent, offering me his arm.

"Why thank you sir." I said with a fake accent too, playing along. We linked arms and walked to class together.

At lunch I found out that Alli, Mia, and Mark also had P.E. with me and Jonathan. I was happy that I would have all of my friends with me in my least favorite class. After that Mia began on my

least favorite topic.

"So, Bella," she started, "you're a senior. You think you're going to get a boyfriend this year?"

"I don't know." I replied, trying not to disappoint anybody.

"Nobody here good enough, eh?" Alli said with a laugh.

I just rolled my eyes in response.

When I looked up, Jonathan was staring at me. _Oh crap_. I thought. Was he going to ask me out? I hoped not, If he did I wouldn't know what to say. He was a great friend, but I couldn't date

anybody. It wouldn't be fair. I still loved—_him_.

"What about you?" I asked Alli, "How are things with Jacob?"

"You're his best friend, you've known him forever. You tell me."

I laughed, "He's still as crazy about you as before. Even before I met you he would tell me all about you."

"Yeah, probably exaggerating anything good about me."

"He's in love, of course he'll do that. And its not as if he was lying." This reminded me of how _he _used to complement me.

I fought to keep my expression light, to not show the agony I was going through. Then the bell rang, and we all walked together to P.E.

Later, after-school I decided to go shopping. I went alone, I got on my motorcycle and drove out to Port Angeles.

I decided that now that I had friends, I didn't want to lose all contact with them once high school was over. I went to the Apple store and bought a computer and iPhone.

I called this technology place thing and they set-up my house for Wi-Fi. I made an e-mail, and decided to give that and my phone number to all of my friends tomorrow.

The rest of the week at school was fun enough, and lucky for me it wasn't sunny one day of the week.

On Saturday Mia invited me to go shopping with her and Alli, and I agreed. My clothes weren't really suited for Forks, and I wanted to change my look a little.

I grabbed my purse, and got dressed. Soon there was a knock on the door, and I was off with my friends to Port Angeles. In the past few years more shops had been added, so shopping there took longer than I was used to. There was a teen clothing store that caught Alli's eye, so we went in. It was a nice store actually, and I decided to buy some skinny jeans.

I bought black, gray, dark blue, medium blue, light blue, and white skinny jeans. I also got a few sweaters and tees, some new sweats and a trench coat.

"Gosh, Bella. I didn't know you liked skinny jeans so much," Alli teased.

"Neither did I." I replied heading for the register.

After we left that store Alli dragged us to Victoria's Secret.

"Buying something for Jacob?" I said waggling my eyebrows suggestively.

"Maybe." Alli replid, winking at me and Mia, sending us into a fit of giggles.

The people working there eyed us suspiciously which only made us laugh harder. I ended up buying a few pairs of panties, a couple of bras and two pajamas.

Now that I was a vampire and sure that I was beautiful, I was a little more confident. Shopping wasn't as horrible as it used to be, but I didn't go often.

It was nice to spend a day with the girls, and the next day I spent reorganizing my closet. Then I got a call from Jonathan. I answered.

"Hey, Bella." he said.

"Hey, Jonathan!" I said.

"I wanted to know if you are prepared for the pop quiz in Calculus tomorrow."

"Pop quiz?" I asked.

"Yeah, I saw it on Huellie's desk."

"Oh crap." I pretended to be worried. I probably knew the answers, I'd been through high school before, but then again it _had _been a while.

"Want me to come over and help you study?"

"Sure."

He came in ten minutes.

"Jonathan, long time no see." I said as I opened the door.

"Yeah, I haven't seen you since—when was that—Friday!"

I laughed, "Well, let's get to work, we need the Calculus credit to graduate."

"We could always drop out."

"I'm sure your parents would love that" I said smiling.

"Alright, alright. Study time."

And so we studied. Well for the most part. At one point we spent time making fun of our teachers, and some of our ridiculous classmates. Then Jonathan left, and I went upstairs.

I had been getting this weird feeling lately. I felt like a real teenager. I knew I wasn't, but I had convinced myself that I was. And I hadn't thought of _him_ almost all weekend.

But as soon as I thought that I thought of him. Just for a second. I found myself on the ground, holding my breath. I tried to let him go, but I couldn't. I still loved him.

_Stop it!_ The voice in my head told me. _Don't think of him, you were doing so well._ So I stopped. I thought of random things. I reflected on my weekend, and I decided to go hunt.

I went deep into the forest, a few miles from my house. I hunted a few deer, and I felt full.

I had insanely good control around humans, I spent my time as a newborn with my parents, that would teach any vampire control, but I still hunted just to be sure.

I never wanted to be a monster, to kill a human. When I got home I finished the remainder of my homework, and then got dressed for school.

I decided to wear gray skinny jeans, a white tank top with a purple v-neck sweater over it, and gray and purple ankle boots.

I swept my hair back, and twisted it upward and held it up with a jaw clip. I felt good, so I hopped on my motorcycle and headed to school.

"Looking good, Bella." Mia said as I approached her, Alli, Mark and Jonathan. Just then the bell rang and Jonathan offered me his arm as was our routine.

It meant nothing really, just like how I used to hold hands with Jake. I talked to Jonathan about nothing in particular as we entered advisory.

We sat down next to eachother in the back, and Jonathan handed me my bag.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"No problem." he said grinning.

"I hope we pass the Calculus test today." I said randomly.

"With our studying methods? We're guaranteed an A+."

We both laughed remembering. Then we realized that the whole class was staring at us. Then I realized that the teacher had been introducing the new students he mentioned last Friday.

Jonathan and I looked down.

"Did you have something to share with the class?" The teacher asked us.

"No, ma'am." Jonathan answered polietely. I still didn't look up, fearing that if I did I would laugh again.

"Well as I was saying, we have a new student. His name is Edward Cullen." the teacher continued. My head shot up. I knew instantly that it was _him._

The hole in my chest came back. I began to hyperventilate.

"What's wrong?" Jonathan whispered.

I didn't look at him. My gaze met Edward's. Our eyes locked. _Oh crap, what if he recognizes me?! _ Then I turned my head slightly towards Jonathan, to answer his question.

"He reminds me of somebody I used to know." I said, my voice shaky. The next ten minutes of Advisory I was silent, and Jonathan seemed to sense that something was wrong.

When the bell rang, I didn't move.

"Bella?" Jonathan asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I chuckled nervously. I reached for my bag.

"I'll get it." Jonathan grabbed my bag. He offered his arm, as was our routine. I entwined my arm with his as he walked me to Science.

"Thanks again." I said as he handed me my bag.

"No problem, again." he said with a smile, "I'll see you at lunch."

I walked into Science, and saw that _he_ was sitting in the seat that was usually vacant. The seat next to mine.

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**Author's Note: Yeah i know, I'm not that good at this story writing thing. Sorry folks. I have a lot more chapters already written though. Please Review this for me, I'd like to know what people think of this, if you like where I'm going with the plot. Oh and i made a playlist for this chapter. Well I put my iPod on shuffle while I wrote, so it might have influenced where i'm going with this story. Here it is:**

**1. Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance**

**2. It's Like That - Run DMC [That's where I got the title for the story] **

**3. Pushin' Me Away - The Jonas Brothers**

**4. Blood - My Chemical Romance **

**5. American Boy (feat. Kanye West) - Estelle **

**6. RoboCop - Kanye West **

**7. Got Money - Lil Wayne**

**8. Lollipop - Lil Wayne **

**9. Bye Bye Bye - *NSYNC**

**10. Just So You Know - Jesse McCartney **

**11. 3 Peat - Lil Wayne **

**12. Boy In A Rock and Roll Band - The Pierces **

**13. Piece of Me - Britney Spears **

**14. Beat Without Bass - Lil Wayne **

**15. Disturbia - Rihanna **

**16. I Don't Care - Fall Out Boy **

**17. Secret - The Pierces **


	6. Pushin' Me Away

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter Six **

**[Edward's Point of View]**

I could have sworn that was Bella. But she looked so different. She was a vampire.

When her eyes met mine I could have swore I saw love in them, but they quickly changed to confusion, hurt, and a little anger. This had to be Bella. How did she become a vampire?

I had to know. And I wanted to see her, to talk to her again. I wanted to win her back. But had she moved on? I looked next to her. It was a boy.

While the teacher was trying to introduce me to the class, Bella and this boy had been laughing. Then when she was staring at me, the boy asked her if she was okay.

She responded by saying that I _looked like somebody she used to know_. That really hurt me. Was this boy her—her boyfriend? But he was a human.

She wouldn't be with a human while she was a vampire, would she? Then I thought back to myself, I was. I was with a human.

A human who I left so she could live a good life, but instead I found a vampire. Then at the end of homeroom the boy took her books, and they linked arms.

They _had_ to be going out. Bella was never that comfortable around just her friends, and she didn't have that many close friends before. I sped away to Science class.

The teacher told me where to sit, and I still thought of Bella. I gasped as I saw her approaching me. Was the empty seat next to me, hers? I really hoped so.

She sat down next to me, and busied herself with her binder.

"Bella?" I asked, unsure.

"Edward." She said, flatly.

"You—you're a vampire?"

"Nope. I'm human. I'm about 68 years old, can't you tell?" she said sarcastically.

So she was angry with me. _Of course! You left her, remember?_ The voice in my head told me.

"Bella, please, I—we need to talk."

"No. I'd prefer if we didn't."

"Can't I get some answers?"

"Why? Why, Edward? Why do you care?"

"Please. I just want to talk to you." I felt the agony coming. She didn't want to talk to me.

I saw her eyes soften.

"Maybe. Maybe sometime later." She said, and she didn't talk to me for the rest of class.

The rest of my classes past in a blur. All I could think about was Bella. She was alive, well she was a vampire. I wanted her again.

I always wanted her, but now that she was with me, I couldn't ignore this want. But she didn't want me. I wanted to know if she moved on. I wanted who changed her.

I wanted to know what she thought of me. And how she felt about me. I could tell that she wanted space, but I wanted to be near her.

I still loved her, and I felt whole again, just sitting next to her. I wanted her to be mine again. I cursed myself for ever leaving her, hurting her.

I entered the lunchroom. I searched for my brothers and sisters, They were sitting at a table in the far corner. Then I searched for Bella, but she wasn't there yet. I sat down next to Alice.

"Did you see her?" I asked my sister.

"Uh—well—yeah."

"Is this why you made me come to Forks?"

"No, I didn't know she would be here."

"Then what—?"

"It's a long story. And don't pretend like you don't like being here. You can win her back Edward. It will just take a while. I don't think she trusts us."

My other brothers and sister were quiet. This year we were all seniors. I didn't want to spend a lot of time in Forks, but now I wanted to stay longer. Then I heard her.

Bella speaking with people. The doors to the cafeteria opened. Bella and the boy from earlier walked in, with two more girls and another guy.

As they moved to sit in a table in the center of the cafeteria, a lot of the guys in the room had thoughts about Bella. I groaned.

This was harder to listen to, now that Bella wasn't mine. One boy who's thoughts were quite explicit headed to Bella's table. I listened in to see what they would say.

"Uh-oh Bella. Will is headed this way." The girl named Alli said.

"What's this the fourth time he's asked you out?" The girl named Mia asked.

"He might not be coming to ask me out. He could be coming to—uh talk to—Jonathan!" Bella said.

"Uh I don't think so, Bella. Me and Will do _not _hang out." the guy named Jonathan, the one from earlier, said laughing.

"Oh right, you told me you hated him on Sunday!" Bella said smacking her forehead.

"Sunday?" Mark asked curiously.

"Yeah, I went over Bella's to study." Jonathan said.

"Study. Right." Mark said.

Bella opened her mouth to protest but Will arrived at their table.

"Hey, Bella." Will said to her. I wanted to see her reaction to this boy's obvious flirting.

"Hi, Will." Bella said, looking him straight in the eye.

"I was wondering, have you changed your mind?"

"No, I'm sorry. Next time, maybe." she said grinning at him.

"Ok—okay." he stumbled off dazed.

I was stunned. Bella used to seem so uncomfortable when people asked her out. Now it was a routine? What had I missed in her life?

All of the sudden I heard laughter. I snapped out of my trance. I looked up. The laughter was coming from Bella's table. I stared at her. Then I heard Jonathan whisper to Bella.

"Are you sure you don't know that Edward guy, Bella? He's staring at you."

Bella froze. Then she composed herself.

"I don't know. But everyone is staring at us right now. We were laughing kind of loud."

With that they all started laughing again. How I wished I could be with Bella, laughing. I wanted to be the one she laughed with. I wanted to be the one to whisper things in her ear.

But I had to sit far away from her, watching her life from the outside.

"Edward, we have P.E. now." Rosalie said, "All of us."

I got up and cleared my tray. As I walked out of the lunchroom with my family I could see Bella and her friends getting up too.

I had just finished changing when I heard somebody greet me. I turned.

"Hey" Jonathan had said.

"Hello." I said.

"You're the new kid?"

"Yeah. I guess so." I didn't feel like the new kid. I once went to this school.

"Welcome to Forks High School, man." he offered me his hand.

"Thanks." I shook his hand. He left to go talk with the boy named Mark. I walked out to the gym with Emmett and Jasper. I felt calmer with Jasper around.

That was until I saw Bella. She was in this P.E. class too. I felt so many emotions at that moment, Jasper stepped away from me.

"Alright," the teacher said, "We're going to play small games of soccer. Five people to a team. I'll let you pick this time. Choose your captain."

I stayed with my brothers and sisters. I saw Bella go with her friends from lunch. They made Bella captain. Seeing this, when the teacher asked for our captain, Alice said, "Edward is our captain."

"Okay, Bella's team versus Edward's team. Pick your goalies. " the teacher said.

I was happy but then sad. Happy for a chance to be near Bella, but sad because we were apart.

It seemed like our teams playing against eachother was something that could only happen in a movie. I watched Bella with her teammates.

"I'm Goalie!" Bella said skipping to the goal.

"I'm defense!" Jonathan said, imitating her skip.

Bella gave Jonathan a high-five and they started laughing.

"As usual." Alli said, joining in on their laughter.

On our team Alice was goalie and Jasper was defense. I wasn't really paying attention to the game though. My mind was on Bella. I was really jealous of this Jonathan guy.

The way he made her laugh all the time, and how I could see that she trusted him. I wished I could make her laugh again. I wish she trusted _me_. I heard Emmett's thoughts.

_Snap out of it bro, you can win her back later. Can we focus on winning this game? I don't want to be beaten by humans._ They weren't all humans though. They had a vampire goalie.

Emmett passed me the ball. I dribbled past all of the other team. I faced Bella, and she looked my directly in the eye. Almost daring me trying to shoot around her.

I shot the ball, and it automatically came right back to me, and it barely missed hitting me square in the face. I looked at Bella, she looked disappointed. Was she trying to hit me?

Did I hurt her that much? Does she hate me that much? The teacher blew his whistle.

"Line up and shake hands!" he yelled. I went to the end of my line, just as a captain must. Then Bella went to the end of hers.

Then I realized it, _shake hands_. I would be able to _touch_ her. I shook hands with Mia, then Mark, then Alli, then Jonathan. When it was just me and Bella left we stared at eachother.

"Good game." I said, offering my hand.

"Good game." she agreed, as she put her hand in mine. As soon as our skin touched I felt an electric current. The same one I felt back in Biology class many years again.

During that video Mr. Banner had us watch. When our eyes met, mine as well as hers were full of longing.

Then she shook her head, and politely removed her hand from mine, and walked to high-five her teammates. I flexed my hand, and the electric current feeling wouldn't go away.

"Edward." Alice said, "Are you—are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

"You don't look okay."

"Do I?"

With that I sat down on the bench and watched the other teams play. I flexed my hand again. The tingly feeling of the electricity wouldn't go away.

I thought about the look of longing that she had in eyes. I _had_ to have imagined it. She couldn't still love me, could she? And if she did, why was she so, cold to me?

**[Bella's Point of View] **

I sat down in gym. Panting, pretending to be tired from all of that exercise. I pretended to be watching the other teams plat intently. I was really thinking of Edward.

When he shook my hand, I felt a familiar sensation. I think it was the electricity that used to be between us, back when I was human.

Whatever it was, it was magnified with my vampire senses. I was even more aware of him than I ever was. And I knew I loved him. I loved him so much, even after what he did to me.

But I wasn't ready to forgive him, let alone talk to him. I made me mad how he just started up talking to me, and it felt good hearing him beg me to talk to him.

But it also made me even more upset, because he was the one who left me in the first place! When we were playing I could feel his eyes on me, so I made sure I would act normal.

So my friends wouldn't notice how nervous I really was. I was the same old Bella on the inside, its just now I knew how to hide her when necessary.

And then while we were playing, I tried to kick the ball at his face. At first I was disappointed that I missed, but then I immediately felt bad. I wouldn't want to hurt him,

not that a measly soccer ball could, but still. When P.E. was over I rushed to go change. I felt somebody behind. I whirled around. It was Alice.

"Bella." she said, approaching me cautiously.

"Alice." I said. No emotion in my voice.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"S—sorry?"

"Sorry that I ever hurt you. Sorry about what my brother did to you. Sorry that we left. Sorry that I wasn't a good best friend."

"You were. But you had to be a better sister. I forgive you—I think. I'm not really sure how I feel right now. But I think we can be friends. If you want."

"Not best friends then?"

"No. I can't really—uh with you all—I don't want to make myself vulnerable." I finally admitted.

"You don't trust us?"

I noticed her plural.

"I told you, I'm trying to sort out things right now. You all just came back into my life, and its hard to get used to.

I mean, you promised—I don't want you to leave, but I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Okay, Bella. Just know we're always here."

"One more thing, Alice."

"Yes?"

"Don't tell _him_ a word of what I told _you_. Okay? He doesn't need to be bothered by how _I_ am feeling."

Alice opened her mouth to say something but then I heard Alli calling me.

"Coming!" I shouted, and ran off.

Later that day Jonathan was walking with me to Calculus.

We sat down together in the back row. I loved the Calculus classroom.

There were desks set up in sets of three. Lucky for me and Jonathan, the third desk by us was empty, so we usually used it to store our stuff.

Just as we were about to dump our bookbags on the empty desk, Edward walked in.

"You're the new student? Edward Cullen? Ms. Huellie asked him.

"Yes, I'm Edward." he replied.

"Go sit in that desk in the back." she pointed to the desk next to me and Jonathan.

"Hey." Jonathan said to Edward.

"Hello, again." Edward replied.

Again? I wondered when they had met. Gosh, this would be awkward. I was seated in between Jonathan and Edward.

My best friend who was crushing on me, and the man I was in love with. Things would get interesting.

"Ready for the pop quiz?" Jonathan asked me.

"Hopefully. I think I studied well enough."

"If not, we can go to plan B."

"Is that you're plan to drop out?"

"Yes of course." he said smiling at me.

"You know that neither you nor I would ever have the guts to just drop out of high school. And if we did, what would we do for a living?"

"Street performers of course."

I couldn't help but laugh at that one.

"Take out a paper and a pencil. We're having a pop quiz." Ms. Huellie said, "The problems are on the board. Move to test seats."

I looked through my binder. _Crap._ I thought. I was out of paper. I grabbed Jonathan's hand as he was about to zip up his binder.

Still holding his hand I guided him to opening his binder. Then I released him, and got a piece of paper.

"Thanks" I said smiling as I got up to go to my test seat. What surprised me was that the studying time I spent with Jonathan actually helped on the test.

After 15 minutes Ms. Huellie spoke. Trade papers with the people next to you. We're going to grade these now. I realized I had to options in front of me.

I could either grade Edward's paper, and he would grade Jonathan's, or Edward could grade my paper, and _I_ would grade Jonathan's.

This wouldn't be a big deal if it was some random guy sitting next to me, but this was Edward. I wanted him to grade my paper.

So I took Jonathan's paper, and passed Edward's to Jonathan. Jonathan got a 98%.

"Aw so close." I said to him.

"Let's see what you got then." Jonathan said.

"Edward, are you done grading my paper?" I asked him politely.

"Yes. Here you are." he handed back my paper, careful that our hands didn't' touch.

"100%! Righteous!" I said.

"You only did that good with my help." Jonathan teased.

"I guess you're right. Except, I did better than you. Next time I'll have to help _you_ study."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, here you go Edward." Jonathan said handing him his paper.

It had a big 78% on it. Edward? Bad at math? But he was good at _everything._ How did _he _get a 78%?

**[Edward's Point of View] **

I couldn't believe it. I was sitting here in yet another class with the beautiful Bella Swan. I couldn't believe my luck.

I wanted to talk to her. To explain things. She sat and whispered to Jonathan. He was very nice to me. But I couldn't stand him. I was so jealous.

He continued to make her laugh, as they shared an inside joke. Bella once told me that _I_ was her world.

That all changed when I left, and it was painful to see that I wasn't a part of her world anymore.

She would refer to things I didn't know about, or laugh at inside jokes that I wished to be a part of. Then, she grabbed Jonathan's hand. I could hear the intake of his breath. He liked Bella.

She still held his hand. Jealousy rolled off me in waves. I wished Bella would grab my hand. I flexed my hand again. It was still a little tingly from where Bella had touched me.

Then it was time to take the quiz. I was disappointed to see Bella move her seat. I spent the whole test thinking about her, trying to figure out her thoughts.

I wished now more than ever that I could read her mind. Then she moved back, and gave me her paper to grade. She got a 100%, she was perfect, she deserved it.

I heard her and Jonathan exchange light conversation, and once again I was jealous. So maybe this guy wasn't her boyfriend, but from hearing his thoughts, he wasn't far from it.

The problem was that he was a good guy. He wasn't like that _vile Mike Newton_. He wasn't having any inappropriate fantasies about Bella, and I could see he really cared for her.

If Bella were human, I would have left so she could be with this boy. But she wasn't human. She was a vampire, just like me. Except she was better, she wasn't a monster, _I_ was.

But since she wasn't human I could stay.

* * *

**Author's Note: Alrightee Read and Review, yo **

**Like this chapter seemed good when I was writing it, but reading it over I'm not so sure. **

**I really need opinions. **

**And I have another playlist! You like any of the same songs as me? **

**It might have influenced how I wrote this so here you go: **

**1. Gold Digger - Kanye West **

**2. Hello, Goodbye - The Beatles **

**3. Crash and Burn Girl - Robyn **

**4. See You In My Nightmare (feat. Lil Wayne) - Kanye West **

**5. Love Story - Taylor Swift **

**6. Let It Rock (feat. Lil Wayne) - Kevin Rudolf **

**7. Drop It Like Its Hot - Lil Wayne **

**8. Homecoming - Kanye West **

**9. Live Your Life (feat. Rihanna) - T.I. **

**10. Corona and Lime - Shwayze **

**11. When Doves Cry - Prince **

**12. Bad News - Kanye West **

**13. Summer Love - Justin Timberlake **

**14. Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael Franti & Spearhead **

**15. Drunk and Hot Girls - Kanye West **

**16. Everyone Nose [Remix] - N.E.R.D. **

**17. Lovebug - The Jonas Brothers **

**18. Kiss - Prince **

**19. Paralyzed - Rock Kills Kid **

**20. Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay-Z**

**21. Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake **

**22. Whatever You Like - T.I. **

**23. Coldest Winter - Kanye West **

**24. Partie Traumatic - Black Kids **

**25. Heartless - Kanye West **

**26. Viva la Vida - Coldplay **

**27. Three Wishes - The Pierces **

**28. Temperature - Sean Paul **

**29. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley**


	7. All I Want Is You

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Chapter Seven**

**[Bella's Point of View]**

When Calculus let out, Jonathan walked me to my locker, as usual. He then left to go to his locker. I was surprised to see Edward approaching me. I was surprised and hopeful.

I don't know what I was hoping for, but whatever it was, was shot down by the better part of me. The part that reminded me of how he left, of my pain. All caused by him.

"Bella." he said, his gaze boring into mine.

I had to remind myself that if I was mean to him, he wouldn't have power over me. I couldn't fall for those beautiful topaz eyes again. I had to stand my ground.

I hated to hurt him, but then I remembered how he hurt me, and I was a little more willing than necessary to put him through some pain.

"Edward." I said flatly.

"I need to talk to you. Explain things. Just give me a chance. Please."

"I can't. How can I trust you?"

"Just, come with me after school. We'll go to my place and just, talk."

"Maybe. I'll decide after Advisory, kay?"

I walked off. In Advisory I took my seat next to Jonathan. I sighed as I sunk into my chair. Edward was confusing me. I wanted answers, and so did he.

I could probably get them at his house today, but did I trust him? Would he tell the truth? I didn't know what to expect.

I didn't want to go, but I knew if I didn't I would regret, and spend a lot of time thinking about what I would be missing if I didn't. When Advisory let out, Edward was waiting for me.

"So." he said.

"Fine. I'll come to your house."

"Do you need a ride?"

"No, I'll ride behind on my bike."

"Your bike?"

"Yes, bike. As in motorcycle. I got one in New York City."

"New York City?"

"I thought we were going to talk at your house?"

"Right."

Twenty minutes later I was pulling up into the driveway that was way to familiar to me. A forbidden thought escaped from my prison of Edward-related thoughts. _Home. _It said.

I fought back. _No, not home. He doesn't love you, he never did._ I reminded myself. This caused the hole to get larger. I had to stop to pull myself together.

"Bella!" Esme said as I rang the doorbell.

"Yeah, it's me. Edward asked me to come." I responded, lamely.

"Why of course. Come in." she said smiling.

I could never be rude to Esme.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as I stepped in.

"Don't be. I understand." she said, "Edward is waiting for you."

I walked into the front room, and saw Edward waiting. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and his thumb. He looked up when I approached.

"Bella, please, sit down." he said, looking nervous.

I sat on the side of the couch furthest from him.

"How did you become a va—vampire?" he struggled to say the word.

"Victoria bit me." I said plainly.

"Victoria? What?" his voice full of concern.

"It's a long story."

"We have time."

"Well she was plotting to kill me, to you know, get revenge for you killing James. It was a sort of mate for mate thing she had going.

So first she sent Laurent to come check to see if I was alive, and he did. I was in _that_ meadow. He hadn't hunted in a while, so he decided that I would be a good snack.

He was going to kill me, but then Jake and his pack stopped him and killed him. Oh yeah, one of my best friends, Jacob Black is werewolf, and he is very strong.

So nothing really happened after that, and it had been a year sin—well yeah it'd been a year, so I went back to _that_ meadow, and I was just lying down when _Victoria_ showed up.

I tried to explain to her that you know, I mean nothing to you, and that her whole mate for mate thing got messed up, and that she would only hurt _me_ by killing me, but she persisted.

Then Jake's pack showed up and saved me, but she had bitten me right before they came. I was changed.

Jake helped me gain control, and I was able to spend my newborn years with Charlie and Renee, and Jake helped me come up with an explanation that wouldn't give to many details for them.

Once they di—died, I moved to New York City. I got a little bored there after a while, so I moved back here to spend time with Jake and his girlfriend.

I became friends with his girlfriend Alli, who helped me make friends at Forks High."

He didn't say anything.

"I told you it was a long story."

"Bella." was all he could say.

"Well I guess you're already bored with me. I'll go—"

"No, wait Bella. Please I have to explain things now."

"Well." I said.

"Bella, when I left you, all those years ago, I didn't think you were in danger. I thought that _I_ was putting you in constant danger by staying with you. And I was.

And I felt that I was taking away from your human life. I thought that if I left you, you would move on, get married, and have children. I didn't leave because I didn't want you.

I always wanted you. I _still_ want you. I never stopped loving you. All these years, I have been in agony. All I could think of was you.

I kept seeing you face in my head, and I had to battle with myself every day to keep my promise. That I wouldn't bother you again."

"If you wanted to come back to me, why didn't you?"

"Well, actually I did come back. I came to see if you had moved on. I told myself that if you hadn't I would stay, and beg for forgiveness.

But if you had moved on, I would leave you alone, like I promised."

"But I never moved on."

"Yes you did. I saw you kissing Jacob Black."

"Yeah, one lousy kiss. Jake and I were meant to be friends, and we realized this soon after that first/last kiss we shared. How can you even _suggest _that I have moved on? How would you know?

You left me so I could move on, maybe, but I didn't. To this day I haven't moved on. Even if I _wanted_ to, I couldn't. When you first left me I was broken.

My friends were scared for me, my parents wanted to send me to the doctor. So I pretended. I pretended to be okay. I pretended that I didn't just lose the love of my life, of my existence.

The only way to deal with the pain was to remember the few people who loved me. I had to live for them, I dedicated all of my time to them. Whenever I would think of you, I would break down.

So I told myself not to think of you. First I dedicated my life to being with my parents. I was almost happy then. And now with my friends, I've dedicated my time to them.

I was learning to live with my pain, treating it as part of the routine. Go to school, do homework, hunt, cry tearless sobs for the loss of my one true love.

And now you're back in my life, and I know you don't want me. I've tried being strong, so as not to scare my friends, but I can't. Not when you ask me to open up to you like this.

It's—it's tearing me apart." I said, releasing some tearless sobs.

"Bella. I didn't know this would happen to you. I would have never—"

"Yes you would have! Don't lie to me! You would have done what you thought was right."

"Bella, I love you." he said, his eyes filled with the agony my speech put him through.

"You what?"

"I love you."

That only made things worse. My body began to shake as I cried. Edward came to me then. Hesitant at first. He put his arms around me. I cried into his shirtfront, and it remained dry.

I felt the electricity hum through me at his touch. I needed his touch. I couldn't forgive him, yet. But I needed him. But then I also felt anger.

Anger that he expected me to forgive him so quickly, especially since it was he who left _me._ But in that moment, my wants and needs took over my emotions.

I moved myself so that I sat on his lap. I felt his hands rest lightly on my thighs. I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him more passionately than I ever thought possible.

Now we were equals. I was a strong vampire. I could hold him down. His hands moved up my thigh, and up my torso.

I shivered a little, and I traced his lips with my tongue, and then I felt his tongue on my lips, begging for entrance.

I opened my mouth and I could feel his cool breath enter, I sighed and our tongues entwined. I heard him moan, and it got me excited.

I spread my legs a little wider so I could get closer to him. I traced my hands down his chest he moaned again, and put one hand on my lower back, pushing me closer.

Then my eyes snapped open. I realized what I was doing, and it was wrong. I wrenched my lips away from his.

"Bella." he said, a look of longing very strong in his eyes.

"No, Edward. This isn't right." I replied.

"Do you love me, Bella?" he asked.

"I don't—I don't know. I think—I need to think. Sort my thoughts out."

"You're leaving me?" he asked, pain making his voice crack.

"No, but we can't be like this. Not yet. I can't forgive you without thinking things over. I need to think. We can't do this—without thinking first."

"You don't trust me?"

"Not yet."

I could see my words hurt him, but it was the truth. I couldn't think when he was around. I wanted to tell him that I had to think, and we ended making out. I definitely needed space.

"I need space, so I can think. If I try to think with you around, we'll end up in the same position we were a few seconds ago." I said.

"I liked that position." he mumbled.

"Goodbye, for now, Edward." I said and left the house.

**[Edward's Point of View]**

So she didn't forgive me. I knew she wouldn't, but I had hoped. But then she kissed me. And it felt so good. I loved being with her again.

When she kissed me like that, I thought that all was forgiven. It just felt so _right_. But then she left, saying she had to think. It was fair I guessed, but it was painful to watch her leave me.

And just thinking of all the pain I put her in. It was unbearable to think of. I would have to gain Bella's trust again. I would do _anything_ for her.

**[Bella's Point of View]**

When I got to my bike, I drove without thinking. I found myself at Charlie's old house. The place brought back so many memories. Lucky for me it was empty.

I heard a family was moving in soon, and I was sad because I knew I wouldn't be able to return. I went up to my old bedroom and curled up on the floor. I stayed there all night.

When I got to school the next morning I saw Jonathan waiting for me in our usual spot, with none other than Edward standing next to him. _This ought to be good_. I thought.

When I reached them the bell had rung.

"Let me get you bag, Bella." Jonathan said.

I shrugged off my bag and handed it to him.

"Want to walk to Advisory with us, Edward?" Jonathan asked.

"It'd be my pleasure." Edward said, smiling my favorite crooked smile.

He wasn't playing fair. I told him I needed to think, so I wouldn't be overcome by my body's need for him, and there he was dazzling me.

"So, there's a dance coming up next weekend. You going to ask anybody?" Jonathan asked Edward.

"I don't know. It all depends." Edward said, giving me a pleading look. A look that begged for forgiveness. "What about you?"

"I might ask somebody…" Jonathan said, vaguely.

I saw Edward frown. Was Jonathan planning to ask me? This wouldn't be good. I couldn't tell him no, but I couldn't _go out_ with him, especially now that Edward was back.

"So, have you made any friends yet?" Jonathan asked Edward, changing the subject.

"Not really." Edward looked down as he said it.

"Why don't you sit with us at lunch today, then?"

_No. Please say no. Why, Jonathan? Why must you be so nice?_ I thought.

"I'd love that." Edward said smiling.

"Bella, you're awfully quiet. Are you okay?" Jonathan asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said staring straight ahead of me.

"Where'd you disappear to last night? We all went out for dinner."

"I was—I had plans. I wasn't feeling too good, anyways."

The three of us arrived to Advisory and hung up our coats. I knew Edward would try to talk to me in Science. I had to make a decision.

I wasn't ready to just go back to Edward, I wanted to, but I knew that I still needed to think. We needed to discuss things, regain the trust we once had.

I wanted to be with him again, to be his girlfriend again, to be involved in a romatantic relationship with him, but I knew in order for me to think, he couldn't know that.

If I told him I wanted him the same way he wanted me, I would get him. But I needed to think.

I had to keep reminding myself this, so he wouldn't distract me, or so I wouldn't just throw myself at him, right away at least.

When Advisory let out, I made a bold move. I walked over to Edward. When he saw he, pain crossed in his eyes. He was probably remembering yesterday.

"Edward, do you uh want to walk to class me?" I asked him.

"Yes, it would be my pleasure." he responded. He must have been excited because human speed wasn't fast enough for him. He was at my side before I could regret what I was about to do.

"So, we need to talk." I said, heading out the door.

"Yes, we do. Have you gotten your thoughts together?" he asked.

"No. That's what I needed to talk to you about. I think that it would be better for both of us to just be friends right now.

I can't stay away from you, but I'm not ready to go back to what we used to be. But if you don't even want to be friends," the thought made my voice crack, "then we don't have to be."

"You want to be friends?"

"Yeah, we can do that right?"

"Anything for you Bella."

"When I get my thoughts together, I'll tell you, and we can work things out. I don't want to let you out of my life again. Last time—it was too painful."

"I would never leave you."

"Right."

We then arrived at Science class, and sat down next to eachother. I knew this friendship thing would be harder than just saying it, but I couldn't let him go.

**[Edward's Point of View]**

Bella was confusing me. Did she love me? She still hadn't said anything on that subject, and I didn't want to pressure her. But then I would think of the way she kissed me.

Was it love that made her kiss me like that? Or just lust? And now she wanted to be friends to think things over. I was willing to wait. I would wait forever for Bella. I would do anything for her.

It would probably be really hard to be around her, knowing that all we could be was friends, but as her friend I could win her trust back, maybe even get her to love me again.

Bella was always surprising me. Like how she asked to walk with me to class. I thought that she would walk to class with Jonathan. Ah, Jonathan. He was a problem.

He was a very nice guy, and he even wanted to be friends with me. I could see he wanted to ask Bella to the homecoming dance, and that made me jealous. What if she said yes to him?

Would she forget about me? I had lunch today to see how he and Bella interacted. To see if she was like that with others, or just him. Once Science was over, I was anxious for lunch.

Any time with Bella was the highlight of my day. I walked into the lunchroom with Jonathan. My family already knew that I wasn't going to be sitting with them.

When we reached the table I sat down on the end next to Jonathan. So far only Mark and Mia were there. I was introduced to them, and we started talking.

Then Bella and Alli entered the lunchroom. I immediately heard Jonathan's thoughts. _After lunch, I'm going to ask Bella to the dance. She could like me, though I don't think she likes anybody._

I froze. What if she accepted him. Would they start going out? I could handle being Bella's friend, but watching her _go out_ with somebody would be pure torture.

I have to win her back. Before it's too late.

"Hey" Alli said as she and Bella sat down.

"Alli this is Edward." Jonathan said motioning to me.

"Hello, Alli." I said.

"So now that you guys are here," Mia began, "I have an important announcement."

"Do tell." Bella said.

"Well you know the homecoming dance, in next week?" Mia said.

"Yeah. Jake is taking me." Alli said.

"Well, I'm going to have an after party at my house!" Mia said.

"That's great, babe." Mark said, putting his arm around her.

"Yeah, and my parents won't be home! So guess what we're playing?" Mia continued.

"What?" Bella asked, innocently.

"Seven minutes in heaven!"

"Well, you better make sure I'm in with Jake. He gets a little jealous sometimes." Alli said.

"Who are you inviting?" Jonathan asked.

"Everyone." Mia stated, simply, then she turned to me, "You and your family are invited too. You should come, get to know everyone."

"Thanks, I'll see what they say." I responded, knowing Alice would force us all to go.

I had already decided that I would go to the dance alone. It wouldn't kill me to go to an after party. And Bella might be there. I wanted to know if she was going to the dance with anybody.

I decided to listen to the minds of her friends. I started with Jonathan.

_I have to ask Bella to this dance. I'm running out of time before college. I should ask her right when lunch gets out. Before P.E. _Jonathan was going to ask her. My worst nightmare.

I wanted to give her space, but what if I gave her too much space that she got over me. I decided that I would have to be there when he asked her out. To see her reaction.

Lunch ended soon, and I stalled. Bella and Jonathan were the last to get up, and I wasn't too far behind when he started talking to her.

"Bella, I was just wondering—I mean, like I wasn't _just_ wondering, I've been thinking for a while now—" Jonathan begun.

"What?" Bella said, a look of despair crossing her face, and then disappearing.

Jonathan let out a deep breath. "Do you want to go to the dance with me?"

"The dance?" Bella asked incrediously.

"Yeah."

"Er, well you see Jonathan. I'm not really ready for anything serious right now. Anything like a date—it wouldn't be good for me.

I'm kind of having to revisit some issues in a past relationship that are somewhat painful.

It wouldn't be fair for you to be involved with me right now, I don't know what I'm thinking of, when it comes to my former boyfriend."

"You have an ex around?"

"Yeah." Then a lightbulb seemed to turn on in her head. "Why don't we go as friends? I mean, like if you'd be okay with that. I understand if you want to find a date."

"No, going as friends would be great. Better than a date actually."

"Exactly."

They both started smiling.

"Oh crap. I left my headband in the lunchroom. See you in P.E." Bella said, heading in the general direction of the lunchroom.

I sped ahead of her, before she could notice, grabbed her headband and waited at the cafeteria entrance.

"Is this yours?" I asked her smiling.

"You were listening!" she accused me.

"I couldn't help it." I said.

"I guess not. So are you really going to the dance or after party?"

"Yeah. I could use some form of recreation in my life."

"Got a date?"

"No. I'm going solo."

"How brave."

I looked at her curiously. We were joking around just like old times. It was amazing. I saw her expression change to one of embarrassment.

"Edward, I need a favor." She said, timidly.

"Anything for you." I responded, a little to intensly for the situation.

"Could you tell me what Jonathan is thinking. I mean, I don't like him in that way, but I don't want to hurt him, you know?"

"I'll find out and tell you."

"Thanks, Edward."

"We should go, before we are late to class."

"I guess so."

So I walked her to class. I was happy just to be near her. I was also anxious to speak to Alice, to see if she saw Bella's future change since she agreed to go to the dance with Jonathan.

I left to go change. Then I ran into Jonathan, he seemed unfocused, like he had his mind on something. _Perfect._ I thought.

_I wished Bella wanted to go on an actual date with me. But I had to respect her wishes, and I guess it's better to stay friends. I really like her though. I don't know if I love her._

_Love is a big thing, and I'm not sure that I'm experiencing it. I wanted to go out with Bella, see if our friendship could develop to love._

_But I guess going to the dance with her is good enough, she won't be going with some other guy. And then we can go to the after party._

So, Jonathan liked her but didn't love her. This was better for me.

If she were to forgive me completely, and trust me enough to love me again, then it would be better if I didn't have to compete with some other guy who was in love with her.

I walked into the gym. Alice was expecting me. The teacher blew his whistle.

"Today we are going to run three miles. Count your laps, and I'll tell you when to stop." he blew his whistle. "Begin"

"Alice" I said, running next to my sister. "Can you unblock your thoughts?"

"No, the surprise will be good for you."

"Please, tell me."

"Fine. Well, Bella is going to go to the dane with Jonathan, as you should already know, and they will have a fun time together.

I do see you asking her for a dance, but you'll have to wait until when the time comes for her response.

Oh, and at Mia's party, during Seven Minutes in Heaven Bella will be with _a guy_, and let's say they end up doing some of what the game is meant for."

"What? Who is the guy? And will Bella dance with me? Please tell me, Alice."

"No. Sorry. Now go talk to Bella. Yeah I know about that too."

I smiled. Then I looked around to find Bella. When I spotted her, she was alone, struggling to look like the running was wearing her out. I sped up my pace, and within seconds I was at her side.

"Ugh, how do you do that?" she asked me.

"Do what?" I said.

"Act so _human_, but then not all at the same time."

"A lot of practice. You'll get used to it, _eventually_."

"Ah, yes. So I assume you have something to tell me?"

"Can't I just be making pointless conversation?"

"Yes, but if you are, I'm going to end that conversation now."

"Alright, alright." I loved seeing the anger on her face. Or maybe I just loved to see her face in general. It was probably both. "I did what you asked."

"You did?" she asked, her face turning into an expression of anxiety. "What was he thinking?"

"Well he was basically thinking that he really wanted to take you on a date, but he respected that you weren't ready. He really likes you, but it's not love.

He wants to go out with you so your friendship has the chance to grow into love. And he's looking forward to going to the after party with you."

"Wow. I feel bad. I mean," she looked down, "I know what it's like to—well in my case it's love—to love somebody who doesn't love you back."

"You do?"

"Don't play dumb, Edward. You know I'm talking about how you l—l—left me." she fought back sobs.

"No, Bella, I thought we went over this. Please don't do this here."

"You're right. I'm still, you know thinking. Sometimes things don't make sense to me, sometimes I forget how things have changed."

"Well some things haven't changed. My family and I still care about you, and miss you. Can you come over after school? Last time you came, well, you didn't get to visit."

I decided to try dazzling her. I widened my eyes, softened my voice, and stared deep into her soul. "Please Bella." I said.

She stared back into my eyes. "Oh—okay."


	8. Family

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

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_Author's Note: Yeah so this isn't my best work like AT ALL. So if you're disappointed, I'm sorry. I've just been busy with homework, and cleaning my house etc. Good news is that after this week I'm on break, you probably are too! So more time for the few of you reading this to read it, and more time for me to finish. I don't really know yet what's going to happen in the story after this chapter, but something will. I'm going to have my friend Jess read it over and help me out, and she'll tell me if my ideas are stupid. Hopefully the next chapter will be up by Tuesday morning. Please review! Thanks sooo muchh _

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**Chapter Eight **

**BPOV**

I was going to Edward's house after school. I was going to his _house_. Last time I went there, it had just been to talk to him. But now, it was to see his family again.

The family that I had always envisioned as becoming a part of. I would see them as friends; I would be the family friend. It was my decision to become so, but I felt I had no choice.

I wanted to just get back with Edward, to have no worries, to just jump back in where we left off. But I knew we couldn't do that.

I was experiencing so many feelings right now, I was sometimes contradicting myself. I loved him, and I felt as if he loved me back. I knew he wanted me, but I wasn't sue I could trust him.

A small part of me wanted him to suffer too, but then the rest of me went into shock at the thought of him in that much pain especially caused by me.

Was this how he felt when I told him all that had happened to me when he left? Would I be able to recover from that? Would I be able to take him back?

Would he still love me, I had changed a lot since we were last together, and maybe he wouldn't like it. Maybe he only loved me as a human.

I knew he _wanted_ me in some ways, I could tell by the way he kissed me, but was that just like lust? Did he just do that in the heat of the moment?

If what he told me was true, he hadn't moved on. These thoughts, and ones similar passed through my mind, all the way through my classes and then Advisory.

I was alone in Advisory; Jonathan had left early today, a dentist appointment. I jumped when Edward approached me on my way out.

"Edward!" I gasped, my hand going over my silent heart.

"So, same as before? You come to my place on your motorcycle?" he asked.

"Yup. Are they all going to be home?"

"Of course. None of them has really talked to you since we've been here."

I was relieved. Alice didn't tell him of our conversation.

"Okay. So I'll see you in a few?"

"Yeah. See you." he stood in front of me for a minute. His hand moved, but I could see he fought it back. This was not the proper way to say goodbye.

I wanted to do more, a handshake at least. But then I decided against it. Touching him wouldn't help with the whole friends thing.

I could control what I said to him up to a point, but if I let my body be near him, things would end just like last time.

Not that I didn't like last time, it was just that it wasn't helping with the whole _thinking things over_ thing. I turned my heel and headed for my motorcycle.

**EPOV **

I paced back and forth in my living room.

"Where is Bella?" I asked no one in particular.

"Relax, we just got here Edward!" Alice said, "And I saw her coming, no worries."

"I'm not worried!" I shouted.

"You do seem a little anxious." Esme said.

The truth was that I was anxious. Today, I had almost touched Bella. There was nothing wrong with that, if we were still together. I had to remember that we friends now.

To keep that up, I couldn't act the same way around her. I was afraid that if I didn't do as she said, she wouldn't take me back. I was also anxious because she was here to see my family again.

It was yet another reminder of all those years ago. And my family was also a reminder of how we left.

I hoped that Bella would be happy to see them, and that she would talk to me while she was here.

"She should be here any second." Alice said, a smile spreading across her face.

And she was right, as usual. About 34 seconds later there was a light tapping on our door. I went to get it.

"Hi." Bella said, nervous for some odd reason.

"Hi." I said, just as nervous.

"Bella's here!" Alice yelled. "Edward don't keep her all to yourself, bring her in!"

"Alice is very excited to see you—we all are." I said.

"Cool." Bella said.

"Bella!" Alice said when she saw her.

"Alice!" Bella said, walking over to Alice to give her a hug. Then everyone else greeted Bella. I could see that Jasper kept his eyes down when he greeted her.

I was envious. The way she just went straight to Alice, no doubt in her mind. The trust between them. How did Alice regain Bella's trust?

"So, it's been a while." Alice said.

"Yes, it has. _Too _long, don't you think?"

"Yes, too long. We have a lot of catching up to do."

"How have you been?"

"I've been okay, I guess. Things are brightening up, now that you're here."

"Thanks, I guess."

"So how have you been?"

"I've been better. I like being in Forks again though."

"I love it here. I even like going to Forks High."

"High school is nice, surprisingly."

"Yeah, sooo I heard you're going to the dance."

"Yes, shocking isn't it?

"Do you have a dress?"

"No. Well I might, I don't really know."

"You don't know? That's unacceptable. We're going shopping!"

"Sure. But you have to promise me you won't go overboard. I don't have _that_ much money."

"Silly, Bella. I would never let you pay!"

"Okay then. So are you going to the dance?"

"Of course. Jasper is taking me."

"And Mia's after party?"

"We wouldn't miss it." Alice began to smile again.

What was going to happen at this party? I was considering skipping out on it, but I knew now that my curiosity would force me to attend.

For the rest of the evening everyone in my family had time to talk to Bella. They all laughed and joked. Sometimes I said a few things, but I was pretty much quiet.

Even Jasper was quite talkative. He was nervous before because he was embarrassed because of his behavior back at Bella's birthday, all those years ago.

We sat there in the living room, all the way through the night. Bella and my family.

"Time for school!" Esme announced.

"Oh right! I completely forgot." Bella said.

"It's the last day of school we can attend this week. They're predicting sun all the way through Saturday." Emmett said.

"Really? I haven't been keeping up with the weather." Bella said.

I was sad because I knew that the next few days we were going to go out to go hunting, and I wouldn't see Bella.

"Yeah, we're going to California to go hunting." Emmett continued.

"You should come with us!" Alice said, excitedly.

"Uh I don't know." Bella said. I saw her look at me, almost like she feared I would object. I thought we had been past this.

I wanted her around me, I was doing everything to get her to trust me again, and there she was second-guessing everything I told her, again.

"You _should_ come, Bella." I said, lifting my eyes to meet hers.

"Well, I guess I could come." she said.

I smiled at the thought of more time with her. More time to regain her trust.

"You all have to get dressed for school!" Esme said, "You can't wear your clothes from yesterday."

"Oh crap, I got to go home and change." Bella said.

"Nonsense. You'd be late for school. You can wear sometime of mine, or Rosalie's." Alice said.

"Come on Bella." Rosalie said, her and Alice leading Bella upstairs.

"Bro, come on. We got to get ready to go." Emmett said, trying to get my attention.

"Right." and I headed upstairs to my room. I heard Alice, Rosalie and Bella talking.

"You _have _to wear it." Alice said.

"There is no way I'm wearing _that_. Seriously I appreciate you lending me clothes, but don't you have anything more my style?" Bella said.

"It will look great on you. Trust us. Oh, and take these for gym." Rosalie told Bella.

I wished I could see what they were talking about. I slipped on a white beater and jeans when I realized my gray t-shirt was in the laundry basket downstairs.

**BPOV **

I couldn't believe that they were making me wear this. I wouldn't have minded so much if it were at _my_ house, but we were at _their_ house. Where Edward lived.

It was embarrassing to see what he thought of me in this. I knew they picked out the outfit to please him, I knew because the color of the shirt was a dark blue. Edward's favorite on me.

It was a dark blue v-neck sweater, and it fit very snuggly. Too snuggly for my taste, and it showed my figure, the little figure I had anyway.

It was worn with light blue—almost white skinny jeans that were also a little too tight for my taste.

"Thanks a lot you guys." I said sarcastically.

"You look good." Alice said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I got to go now. See you at school." I said, leaving the room. I had a lot of things to think over, and I wished I had longer than a quick motorcycle ride to do so.

I considered skipping school, but then decided against it knowing I would be gone the rest of the week. I walked down the hall, and prepared myself to walk past Edward's room.

I wished I could go in, but I decided against it. It would be better to just go straight to school. I was about to peek in Edward's room when all of the sudden he was in front of me.

My hand flew up to my silent heart.

"You scared me!" I said to him.

Then I looked him over. He was in a white beater, and it fit him _perfectly_. You could see the muscles of his chest, and his long arms. I gulped, and then shook my head.

I couldn't think about these things. Especially since he wasn't mine. He wasn't anyone's but I still knew that I couldn't be thinking these things; I couldn't gaze longingly at his perfect chest.

When I finally met his eyes, there was a weird look on his face. Almost like he was confused. Behind the confusion there was longing, and sadness, and—I wasn't completely sure—but love.

"I'm sorry. I was just going downstairs to get my shirt." he said, an impish grin on his face now.

"I was going downstairs to leave." I said. We began to walk together.

"I'll walk you to your motorcycle." he offered.

"No, it's okay." I said.

"I'd like to." he said, pleading in his voice.

"If you're sure." I said.

**EPOV **

We approached Bella's motorcycle. I was sad that our little walk had to end this quickly. I just loved being next to her, feeling light traces of electricity hum between us.

"No helmet?" I asked her when we stopped in front of her motorcycle.

"No need." she said. Then she bent over and brushed all of her hair up, brought herself back up and twirled her hair into a bun.

At that moment I appreciated and hated the outfit that Alice and Rosalie picked out for her. It complemented her so much, and the color blue was so beautiful on her.

It hugged her every curve, and brought them to my attention. When I ran into her in the hallway I looked her up in down, taking her beauty in.

She did the same to me, and the look of longing in her eyes confused me a little.

I wished I could tell her how beautiful she looked, but I was afraid that it would embarrass her, and make things awkward.

Bella would always be beautiful to me, and she looked just as beautiful when she was human. I took her all in.

Her beautiful face, her long hair in a messy bun, her blue sweater, her jeans and sneakers. I hated hearing what other guys thought of her; most of them had their sick little fantasies.

And sometimes I felt no better than them when I thought of Bella. I felt like I was just another guy, trying to get her attention, to have this beautiful girl to be mine.

It was harder to deal with when I knew that she could end up with one of those boys rather than me. I hoped that I had an advantage because I, as she, would be around forever.

I snapped out of my thoughts when she spoke.

"See you at school." she said, and she sped away.

"EDWARD! Hurry up!" Alice sang.

"Okay, okay." I said.

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**Author's Note: **

**Eu this isn't very good. **

**I just re read it after writing my first note up above. **

**I'm sorry it's sloppy and lazy. I might edit it and then write a new chapter. I don't know. **


	9. Got Me Going Crazy

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

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**Chapter Nine **

When I got to school Jonathan was waiting for me out front.

"Any cavaties?" I asked him as I approached, remembering his dentist appointment.

"Nope. I'm all good." he said, offering me his arm.

"Good. Those shots they give for fillings are like torture."

"I know right. I hate that. And you've had cavaties? That's hard to believe, your teeth are like perfect."

I had the teeth of a vampire, of course they were perfect. When I was human however I didn't, and I remember disliking the shot when I got a cavity.

"I had cavaties when I was really little."

"Same here. I would always get them after Halloween."

"Gee, I wonder why?" I said laughing.

We got to Advisory on time, and took our seats in the back.

"As you all know, there is a dance coming up. At the teacher's meeting this morning, we decided to all go light on homework the Friday before the dance.

During the dance oldies music will be played, and the Dance Club will be performing. That's all." the teacher announced.

"Oldies night, eh?" Jonathan said.

"I love oldies music." I said. After all, oldies music was the music I grew up with.

"Some of it is pretty good."

Jonathan and I begun to discuss our favorite songs until the bell rang. When we reached the door to Science he surprised me.

"I'm really looking forward to the dance, Bella." he said, gazing into my eyes.

"Cool. I'm excited too." I said, trying to rid the intensity in the conversation, "See you later Jonathan."

With that I entered Science.

"Today we will be giving eachother basic checkups." The teacher said once the class had settled down. "We're going to see what the average of everything is for this class."

I was glad that I was sitting next to Edward, no explanations needed for my silent heart.

"Should we just—pretend?" I asked Edward.

"Only is she looks over." he said.

Forty minutes. Forty minutes with nothing to do.

Forty minutes with nothing to do while sitting inches away from the guy I'm in love with,

but not sure if telling him that right now is the best idea, so I have to just be friends with for the time being.

"Do you like being a vampire?"

Edward's question took me off guard. I looked around the classroom. Nobody would be paying attention to us. Everyone was talking loudly and giggling and playing with the equiptment.

"Well, I don't mind now—I've gotten used to the idea. It was harder at first, and sometimes I really wish I were human, but I've gotten used to it."

"You've always been vegeatarian." It was a statement. I never really told him if I took the life of a human, just that I had good control.

"Yeah. That was never the problem." I said, regretting it immediately because I knew he would ask what was the problem.

"Then what was?" he asked.

"I think I might have told you some of this before but, back when I was human when I imagined being a vampire I had expected to be a vampire with you and your family.

When I was changed, I was alone. I had Charlie and Renee, but I knew they would be gone eventually. And I knew that I couldn't stay with Jake forever because he had his soul mate with them.

So being changed made me realize how alone I really am, and that I would be alone _forever_."

Pain crossed his face. I saw him take a deep breath, and his expression softened, but I could still see the pain in his eyes. It felt good—a little bit—to open up like this.

I was always scared of making myself vulnerable, but I found myself trusting him—at least for now.

"And now?" he asked.

"I have friends. Human and I think vampire." I said, looking down. I knew we were friends, but somehow I felt embarrassed at calling him my friend. Like he would disagree.

"You do. I'm here for you, Bella." he said intensly.

Unlike my conversation with Jonathan, I wanted to say something eqully intense, but I decided against it.

"Cool. So I'm going hunting with you guys huh?"

"Yes. We're leaving tonight so I guess you can come straight to my house. You can borrow some clothes from Alice and Rosalie if necessary."

"I think I should go home to get some clothes. God knows what they'd make me wear tomorrow."

I regretted saying that. I hated brining attention to my outfit, though I had to admit it did look good. But it was still a little embarrassing knowing it was picked out with Edward in mind.

"I think you look very nice today." he said, smiling slightly.

"Thanks." I said, returning his smile. "How long will we be gone?"

"We should be back Friday night."

"Okay, well afterschool today I'll go home and get my clothes, then run to your place."

"Sounds good."

"And I'm going shopping with Alice?"

"Yes, she's taking you either Saturday or Sunday."

"Ugh. Well, I guess I'll go Saturday."

"You sound excited."

"I'm worried that Alice and Rosalie will go overboard."

"They might not."

"Are you going?"

"Me? Well, Alice wanted Jasper, Emmett, and I to tag along—but I wasn't sure it be okay with you." he looked down.

"Of course it would be okay. And I'm thinking of bringing my best friends with me, if that's okay with you all."

"Who are your best friends?"

"Alli and Mia. Well, Jonathan and Mark are too but they aren't allowed to come."

"Oh right, Jonathan will want to be surprised by your outfit."

I wanted to respond to that, but I didn't know how. Despite the fact that Jonathan and I were going as friends, everyone was treating it as a date. Edward and I didn't talk the rest of the period.

**EPOV **

I couldn't believe I had slipped like that. I had let Bella know how jealous I was of this Jonathan fellow. I didn't mean to, but just knowing she had a _date_. It was a hard concept to consider.

I was feeling so many emotions at that moment. I couldn't control what I was feeling. After Science I headed to my car. I sat in silence until I heard the bell for lunch. I didn't move.

I didn't want to. I was messing up. I had to remember that I was just Bella's _friend._

She hadn't told me whether or not she still loved me, and I didn't want to pressure her, she needed her space, and being her friend should be enough.

It would be easier if some guy wasn't trying to win her heart, but it's what I got for leaving her in the first place. Lunch ended.

I figured I would have to come out now that I had missed a lot of the day. I headed for the gym. Bella wasn't there.

"Alice. Where did Bella go?" I asked my sister once we started running laps.

"She went home sick. She had to make a cover for missing the next few days."

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"Jeez, Edward, she thought about it at lunch."

I ran ahead of her now. I would have to endure the rest of the day. I knew I wouldn't be able to focus, my mind would be on Bella. We would be together, in the car, in California.

And we were going to go hunting together. That thought got me through the rest of the day. It seemed like hours before the day got out. I rushed to my Volvo and waited on my siblings.

Rosalie came first.

"Calm down, Edward." Rosalie said. She was surprisingly nice to Bella, I think it had to deal with Bella being a vampire.

She always felt that Bella was giving so much up for me, and now she wasn't so she was able to be nicer to Bella. It made some things easier for me.

"I'm sorry, I'm just excited I guess." I said.

"She still loves you, you know." Rosalie surprised me.

"How do you know?" I demanded.

"I just know these things. Calm down, trust me. You two will be happy together, eventually."

Before I could respond Alice, Jasper and Emmett arrived and I got into the car.

"So Edward." Emmett began, "Alice, Jasper and I thought of a little plan for you."

This couldn't be good. My family was so persistant in their attempts to get Bella and I back together. I would be all for it if I were sure that it would work.

I, however, wasn't sure, so hesistant before trusting these plans.

"Elaborate, please." I said, trying to sound calm and collected.

"You should ride alone with Bella. Give you guys some much needed alone time." Alice said.

"You'll thank us for it later." Jasper said.

"Are you sure? What if she doesn't want to be alone with me?" I asked.

"She does." Once Alice confirmed it I was sold.

* * *

**Author's Note: YAY WINTER BREAK **

**sorry i haven't updated in forever. **

**PLEASE REVIEW SO I CAN UPDATE MORE **

**MUCH LOVE **

**&& Happy Holidays! **


	10. Dangerous

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Ten **

**BPOV **

I was already at Edward's house. My motorcycle was parked in their garage, and I was in the living room chatting with Esme.

"It's so great to have you back, Bella." she said to me.

"It's great to be around your family again." I responded.

"Bella, you are like a part of our family. You always will be, no matter what you decide…"

I wondered what she meant by that. Did she mean whether or not I decided to go back to Edward, or move on?

"Thank you. I've missed you all these years. You always kinda felt like a second mother to me."

If I were still human I would have been blushing as I said it.

"Oh Bella, you are like a daughter to me."

"It's weird to be together again, I mean under different circumstances than…before."

"Change does take a while to get used to."

"It does. But I don't know, it's weird. I've been thinking so many different things lately, feeling so many different emotions. I'm scared of being hurt again, but I miss him. So much."

It felt kind of good to say this aloud. Strange the direction the conversation had changed to.

"He misses you too. You don't know how happy he is when he is with you. Sometimes he is sad, because of the pain he knows he caused for you, but there is also happiness.

Happiness that you both are together again."

"Together as friends. It's better than nothing." I sighed.

Just then we heard the faint sound of Edward's Volvo and our topic of conversation changed immediately.

"So why did you all come back to Forks?" I asked Esme.

"This has always been our favorite place to live.

We always wanted to return, but Edward refused, he didn't know what happened to you, and if something bad had happened, the pain would be too much for him.

Carlisle and I spoke with Alice, and she told us that things would be fine in Forks. So we returned, and here we are."

"I just came back to be with my best friend, Jacob Black. Which reminds me, I haven't talked to him in forever."

"You should visit him sometime on the weekend, but don't forget to shop with Alice one day."

"Oh she won't forget." Alice said, entering. Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and Edward followed.

"Ugh Alice. Why do we _have_ to go shopping? It's just a dance!" I said. I didn't really care, but it would be nice to get out of it and just spend the day relaxing.

"Yes Bella we do have to go. You want to look nice."

"Do I?"

"Yes you do, and I bet that Jonathan guy wants you to look nice too."

I saw Edward flinch, and I wondered why.

"Fine. I'll go. Is it just you and me or what?"

"Course not. Rosalie is coming, and Jasper and Emmett, oh and Edward."

"Jeez. Everyone is coming." I said laughing.

"We have to be there to tell you how good you look."

I rolled my eyes.

"So when are we leaving?" I asked.

"When Carlisle gets back." Jasper said.

"He should be here in a maybe an hour or two." Esme said.

"So what are we going to do until then?" I asked.

"I don't know." Rosalie said.

"How about we play a game?" Alice asked.

"What kind of game?" I asked.

"A fun one." she said.

"Like?" Rosalie asked.

"Hm. I don't know. I can't think of anything. Except…" said Alice.

"Alice…" Edward warned.

"Let's play truth or dare!" Alice exclaimed.

Nobody said anything. Emmett broke the silence.

"Yeah!" he said.

We all started laughing.

"I think I'm going to watch for the first few rounds, then I'll join in." I said.

"Scared, huh?" Emmett asked me.

"Yeah, basically." I said.

"You should be scared." Rosalie said.

"Okay, since it was my idea, I'll start!" Alice chimed.

She looked around the circle we had formed. I was seated in between Alice and Emmett. Next to Emmett was Rosalie, and next to her was Edward.

He was directly across from me. I smiled at him when his gaze met mine. He smiled back.

"Truth or dare—Emmett." Alice finally said.

"Dare." he grinned broadly.

"I dare you to not tease any one of us for the rest of the day."

"That's the best you could come up with?"

"It's the beginning of the game. I wanted to go easy on you."

"If you say so. It's my turn now."

Emmett looked around the circle. When his eyes landed on Jasper, he smiled evilly.

"Jasper—truth or dare." he said.

"Truth." he said simply.

I was really getting into the game, even though I was just watching.

Emmett looked upward as he thought, and once he got an idea he looked Jasper straight in the eye and said,

"Do you ever use your power to—you know—get Alice's _in the mood_?"

A few snickers escaped from everyone, including me. Jasper looked a little embarrassed. I don't think he really enjoyed this negative attention.

"I have—but only once or twice. Alice already knows that." Jasper said finally.

"You had to use your—" Emmett began, but Alice cut him short.

"No teasing remember?" she said, a smile spread across her small face.

"Yeah yeah yeah" Emmett said.

"So, Rose. Truth or dare?" Jasper asked.

"Me?" Rosalie said in surprise.

"Truth or dare?" Jasper repeated.

"Dare." Rosalie said.

"I dare you to put on clown make-up and wear it until we get to California."

"Jasper! Please! Not _clown_ make-up!"

We all knew how much Rosalie cared about her appearance.

"Sorry, Rose. Now get to it."

Rosalie moved at human pace to go upstairs. We heard her doing her make-up, and mumbling under her breath. When she came downstairs we all started laughing.

She put a base coat of white pain on her face, and a bright red lipstick. Around her eyes were black, and on her cheeks and chin were red circles. She looked ridiculous.

She glared at us and the laughing stopped.

"Yay, Bella's playing." Alice said randomly.

"I am?" I asked.

"I just saw you saying you would." Alice said.

"Then I guess I am." I said.

"Good," Rosalie said, "Truth or Dare, _Bella_."

I was scared. I knew whatever she decided for me would be bad, she was mad at all of us for laughing at her make-up. I decided to choose dare because I hoped it would be quick and easy.

"Dare." I said, almost as a question.

"I dare you to—kiss Edward." she said, an evil glint in her eye. Note to self: Don't dare Rosalie to do something that ruins her appearance.

"What?" I said, panic in my voice.

I looked to Edward to see if he objected. He looked just as panicked as me. But behind the panic there was pain.

I was sorry for hurting him by objecting at the thought of kissing him, but it wasn't what he might have thought. It wasn't that I didn't love him anymore, or even like him enough to kiss him.

I was _trying _to sort things out, _trying _to be his friend. It was getting harder, but kissing him would be awful.

It would bring back so many memories, and it would bring the want for him that I had out. I wasn't sure that I would be able to control myself if I were that close.

I wasn't sure that I would be able to remember that I was supposed to think things over before forgiving him completely.

"I can't." I whispered looking down.

"But it's your dare." Rosalie said, no sympathy in her voice.

"It's just one kiss, Bella. How bad can it be?" Alice said.

"I don't think Edward would go along with it." I said giving him a hopeful look. One that begged him to understand.

Before he said anything Rosalie spoke.

"It doesn't matter. It's _your_ dare. Come on Bella. You're already refusing to do things when you just got into the game? It's one kiss. You guys are friends right? You can handle it." she said, a little impatient.

I exhaled. I gave up. There was no way around it. I slowly moved so that I was sitting on my knees in front of Edward. For a minute we got lost in each other's eyes.

I couldn't read his expression. This was a really awkward situation.

"Are you ready?" I whispered to him, even though I knew everyone could hear.

He nodded his head yes. I put one hand on either side of his face, gently. I leaned in, slowly. I looked into his eyes one more time, and I saw love there. So he wanted me to do it.

If I hadn't seen the look of love he was giving me, I would have backed out. I decided to do it, as a sort of way to apologize for only being his friend. It was backward but that's what I thought.

I leaned in and placed my lips on his. I felt one of his hands on my back, and another one of his hands on my neck. He was kissing me back, and it was surprising somehow.

I forgot we had an audience. I forgot about staying friends. I didn't stop kissing him like I should of. I let him kiss me, and I even let him trace my lips with his tongue.

My hands were moving towards his hair. I heard somebody clear their throat. Edward and I broke apart immediately.

I scooted back to my spot and looked down, tracing light patterns on the floor with my fingertips.

"Well, that wasn't that bad was it?" Alice asked.

I didn't answer. Neither did Edward. I was too scared to look up. I was ashamed of what I had done. I hated doing this to him.

I hated leading him like that, and then going back to the friends stage. I felt like I was almost teasing him. The pain that he would probably feel, I regretted agreeing to the dare.

"That was…interesting." Rosalie said, for lack of a better word.

"Yeah. So it's my turn now?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yup. You can ask any one of us. But Edward still hasn't gone." Alice said.

"Truth or dare, Edward?" I asked him. Still looking down.

"Truth." he said.

"Is it true that you still can't read my mind?" I asked him, since I couldn't think of anything better.

"Yes. It is true." he said.

We played a few more rounds of truth or dare, and it got kind of fun after a while. Emmett had to sing and dance to a Britney Spears' song. I had to eat an apple. Rosalie had to call herself ugly.

There were many other things done, but it all ended upon Carlisle's arrival. The driving arrangements were made, and it was determined that Edward and I would take his Volvo.

I was scared to be alone with him, but I didn't want to object for fear of hurting him again.

There was still a little awkwardness left over from our kiss, but I tried to ignore it and make the best out of the situation.

We would arrive in California by nighttime so it would be safe for us to be outside. We all changed into summer clothing, and headed for the garage.

I looked around and everyone else was getting into their cars. I reached for the handle of the Volvo. I felt somebody gently grab my arm and stop it from opening the door.

"Allow me." Edward said.

He was always the gentleman, I remembered.

"Thanks." I said, getting into the car after he opened the door. He closed the door, and moved at vampire speed so within seconds he was seated next to me. This was going to be interesting.

* * *

**Author's Note: haha this was pretty bad i just reread it. sorry if anyone wanted something more interesting. **

**so im working on the next chapter, **

**and i need opinions. **

**do you think bella and the cullens should go to a club? **

**just cuz like they are going to be in Cali at night, **

**and they dont have to hunt RIGHT away. **

**Good? Bad? tell me or I can't write it! **


	11. On The Road Again

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Eleven **

**EPOV **

I sat down in the car next to Bella. The ride to California wouldn't take me too long. Only a few hours, but I was excited for the time alone with Bella. We were the only ones left in the garage.

Bella was looking out of the window. I knew if she could blush, she would be right now. This was my fault. I must have embarrassed her by reacting to her kiss.

I should have just sat still, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to apologize, but I feared that would make things worse. I wished that I could read her mind. To see what she thought of me right now.

But since I couldn't I decided that I would talk to her and watch her reactions, to see if I could figure out what she was thinking.

"Have you ever been to California?" I asked her.

"Yes. I've been once, with Renee. It was a long time ago." she said.

I could tell that she missed her parents. It was hard, staying alive while people you loved passed away. It was part of the curse of being a vampire.

I did not experience it as much, since my mother had passed away early on, but Bella spent time with her parents, even as a vampire.

"You miss them?" I asked her, suddenly.

"My parents? Yes, I miss them a lot. It doesn't really affect me, except sometimes when I really think about it." she said.

"I can't even begin to imagine what that's like." I said.

"Well, sometimes I comfort myself knowing that they each had a good life, and I would have probably been alive when they passed away if I stayed human."

"When you were changed, how did Jacob's pack react?" I asked her.

"Well since I was always their friend, they trusted me. I am allowed in La Push, as long as I don't bring harm to anyone living there."

"And I always thought that vampires and werewolves didn't get along!"

"Well, you stand corrected." she smiled.

I smiled back at her.

"So where are we headed exactly?"

"We own a small cottage right upon a forest. We'll be going there to drop off our stuff."

"I can't wait."

"I'm looking forward to having a mountain lion." I said, smiling.

"Oh, right. That's your favorite." she said, like she had just remembered.

"What's yours?"

"I'm not really sure. I never really thought about what is my favorite. If I chose it might be a coyote. I don't know though."

"Do you hunt often?"

"Not really. I hunt when I have to."

"You have great control. You don't seemed bothered by all of the humans at school."

"They don't bother me. I don't understand why not. I expected it to be much harder to get used to, but it wasn't." she shrugged.

It was silent for a while. And that bothered me. I wanted to talk to her, get closer to her trusting me again. I searched my brain for topics of discussion.

"I'm glad we're missing school." I said, for no absolute reason.

"School is okay. I prefer the social side of it to the academic side." she said.

"Socially things vary from each time you go to high school, but academically its usually the same thing over and over."

"Well, I haven't been through high school as many times as you, but I find that sometimes there are teachers that make things all worthwhile."

"You mean the few teachers who actually _teach_?"

"Yes, those. You must have had a few who taught you something."

"Yes, I have. But it was a long time ago."

"I don't like school more than anybody else, but I don't know what I would do with all of my time if I didn't go to school."

"There are plenty of things to do outside of school."

"Yes, but it is harder because I am forever young, and around people who get old."

"Yes that can be a problem."

"My time in Forks is running out. I've been here for quite a while now. There were already rumors when I first came, because I was alone."

"How did you explain that?"

"My parents are in Europe, working on something for their jobs."

"So you bought a house?"

"Yup. I have a small amount of money that I use for things like that. My house is nice, it's a small place, but that's all I need."

"I'd like to see it."

"Sure, you all can come over one day. I'm worried that Alice and Esme won't approve of the decorating."

"I would be worried too." I said. I knew my mother and sister well.

It was silent once again. Bella looked like she was thinking something over, and I did not want to disturb her. I still felt like I should say something about that dare Bella had to do.

It had been about an hour since one of us last spoke.

"Bella." I said. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Starting out by saying her name.

"Yes?" she said, sounding scared for some reason. I tried to control the emotions I must have been displaying on my face.

"I'm sorry about—well about what happened between us earlier. I didn't mean to let things get out of hand." I said, referencing the kiss we shared.

"I'm sorry too. I should have never accepted that dare." she said, looking ashamed.

"No, it's my fault," I couldn't stand her blaming herself, "I should be able to control my emotions."

"Same." she said, smiling a little.

So she had to control her emotions too. This excited me, I know it shouldn't have, but it did. Maybe I wasn't so far from winning her back. Maybe, just maybe.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yeah so I got a lot of reviews, for me, for my last chapter,**

**i felt so special. =) **

**so anyway, i wrote this really quick just to have something posted. **

**in those reviews i was talking about, i got some great ideas, **

**which kind of inspired me to write the next chapter the way im writing it **

**and i'm thinking they WILL be going to a night club. i'll either post it **

**later tonight or tomorrow morning. depends on the reviews i get. **

**THANKS! **


	12. California Love

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

**Chapter Twelve**

**BPOV **

"Are we almost here?" I asked Edward as we drove through the forest.

"Yes, we should be there any minute." he said.

We had been talking the whole way here, and I was happy to find that all of the awkwardness had passed, and we were almost able to talk as friends.

"It's so beautiful." I said, when we pulled up to the small cottage.

I heard Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie inside.

Edward pulled over, and turned off the engine. I reached for the door, again, but Edward beat me to it, once again.

"Always the gentleman." I teased.

He smiled back at me, and we walked into the cottage together. I was surprised to see that Rosalie still had on the clown make-up, and I had to stifle my laughter when I saw her.

The cottage had six rooms. It had a living room, four bedrooms, and a kitchen/bathroom. Everyone was in the living room. I saw 3 garment bags on the couch.

"What are those for?" I said, sitting down in the lounge chair.

"We're going clubbing!" Alice said excitedly.

"Clubbing?" I asked.

"Yeah, it'll be fun." Rosalie said.

"Where?" I asked.

"In the city. Los Angeles. It can't be too far." Alice said.

"And what does this have to do with the garment bags?" I asked, dreading her answer.

"You can't expect to go out like _that."_ she said. And she tossed me a garment bag.

I opened it up. My eyes flicked across the label.

"_Betsey Johnson?_ Alice, really!" I said, trying to sound angry.

"We're all wearing Betsy Johnson." she said simply, "Now go change."

She pushed me into one of the bedrooms. I put on the dress. It was very short, and a kind of purple color. It had a belt thing which was sequined. I sighed. The things I did for Alice. I put on the heels that were in the bag and headed out to the living room.

"You look nice." Emmett said.

"Thanks." I said, "Where's Alice and Rosalie?"

"They're in the back changing. They should be out in a second."

He was right. They came out. I was disappointed to see that Rosalie got to take off the clown make-up. But they looked amazing.

Rosalie wore a black dress, it was strapless and covered in sequins. Alice wore a strapless black dress, with a pink bow on it.

"You ready?" she asked.

"Sure." I said.

"Where's Edward and Jasper?" Rosalie asked.

"Yeah, where'd they disappear to?" I piped up.

"They went for a walk. They'll meet us at the club later. The boys are staying back to wait for Carlisle and Esme."

"Okay, so what car are we taking?" I asked.

"Mine." Rosalie said.

Emmett walked us out, and as we were leaving, we ran into Jasper and Edward, clearly on their way in.

"Where are you all headed?" Edward asked.

"Clubbing." I said. Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice were saying good bye to each other.

"_You're_ going clubbing?" Edward said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I am." I said, a little offended.

"So you like to dance now?" he asked.

"No, well kind of. I don't know! I just don't fall down as much, so it's not that bad." I said, finally.

"You look, nice." he said, gazing into my eyes. How had our coversation taken this turn? I tried to go back to discussing the club and stuff.

"Thanks. Alice says you all are meeting us at the club?" I asked.

"Really? I wasn't informed. But if Alice said it, it must be true." he said, smiling at me.

I heard a car honk. I turned around. Alice and Rosalie were waiting for me in Rosalie's car. I must have been talking to Edward longer than I thought.

"See ya!" I called over my shoulder as I rushed to hop into the car. We drove off, and I sat, not knowing what to expect.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yeah short I know. I had to make dinner tonight, and it took longer than I thought,**

**so I couldn't write much. I'll have more tomorrow afternoon probably. **

**Here are the links for Bella, Rosalie and Alice's dresses. **

**Bella - .?categoryid=1101&productid=6245&np=1101**

**Alice - .?categoryid=1101&productid=5833&np=1101**

**Rosalie - .?categoryid=1101&productid=6248&np=1101**


	13. Boyz

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen **

**EPOV **

I sat down on the couch next to Emmett.

"How you holding up?" he asked me.

"I'm fine. I'm great. Perfect." I said, trying to hide what I was really feeling.

"Edward, you're a mess." Jasper said, obviously feeling my emotions.

I glared at him.

"No offense." he added quickly

"I know you're a little _touchy_ on the subject, but like, what's your deal? What's going on with you and Bella?" Emmett asked me.

"We're just friends." I said, ignoring the part of me that wasn't satisfied with just that.

"And you're okay with that?" Jasper asked, skeptically.

"Yes, I'm fine with it." I said, trying to convince myself more than them.

"It didn't look like that earlier." Emmett mumbled.

"Excuse me?" I asked in a polite manner.

"You know you heard me, Edward." Emmett said.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, even though I did.

"Edward, we all know that you can't stand this friendship thing you and Bella have going. And we all know that you _want_ her, you can't lie. We all had to watch you during truth or dare."

Emmett said, trying to soften his voice.

"What choice do I have? She wants to be friends. I don't want to push her away from me by not listening to her. I need her trust." I said, helplessly.

"Fight back. You love her, I know this. You'll never leave her. But she doubts you sometimes, Edward." Jasper said.

"You can win her back, just be subtle about it." Emmett said.

"I'm trying." I said.

After that we sat in silence for a while. Each of us had things to contemplate. I was reflecting on the relationship I had with Bella before, when she was human.

She was so vulnerable then, so breakable. I had to be so careful when touching her then. If anything had ever happened to her, especially by my doing, I wouldn't be able to live with the pain.

Now she was a vampire, she was strong. I still wanted to protect her. At first I thought I missed watching her sleep, holding her and singing her lullaby. But really I just missed being with her.

I wished more than anything that I could hold her in my arms now, and spend the night like that. Just _together_. Then I thought about how I left her. How she believed that I really didn't love her.

As if I could stop loving her. The pain I saw on her face when I left. The pain I heard in her voice when she spoke of it now. It was great being together again, but it made me greedy.

Every second I spent with Bella, made me want more time with her. Every time she smiled at me I wished I could hold her and run my fingers through her hair, trace her face with my fingertips.

She still hadn't said whether or not she still loved me. Could she love me? She definitely didn't hate me, and probably _liked _me. But love. I wanted her love.

I had to win her back, but I feared that I would hurt both of us in the process. Just then, Carlisle and Esme came in.

"Alice called us." Esme said, not missing a beat.

"You boys are free to go." Carlisle said, knowing we were eager to leave. I wondered why we even had to wait in the first place.

_Alice_, I thought, she must be plotting something. We went in my Volvo, and sped towards the night club.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yo yo yooooo **

**so i updated. **

**yeah this is really short sorry! **

**I should update later tonight, and you get to see what bella has been **

**thinking through this lil bit with edward **

**hopefully i'll be able to post what happens at the night club too **

**but i dont know. **

**and i don't know if Alice was plotting something, as ed thought **

**or it was just random. i haven't decided. **

**so i have to practice the piano for like an hour or two **

**i have a winter recital soon **

**so in that time i need REVIEWS **

**then ill have the next chapter up in no time **

**THANKS && MUCH LOVE **


	14. Party Like A Rockstar

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

_

* * *

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**Chapter Fourteen **

**BPOV **

"Bella, be a dear and get a CD for me, out of the back of the seat." Rosalie said.

"Sure." I said, reaching for the cd. It had no label, and I wondered what would be on it. My question was soon answered. There was a lot of different music on the CD.

Mostly fast songs, there was pop, alternative, rap and more. I sat silently in the back, staring out of the window, wondering what Alice had planned.

Suddenly the volume of the music was lowered.

"So, you've never been clubbing?" Rosalie asked.

"Nope." I said.

"Well, when we go, we like to be in the center of things." Rosalie continued.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We find the best spot, and dance. It's really fun." Alice said.

"Since the boys aren't here, and I don't think you'll be comfortable dancing with strangers, the three of us can dance together." Rosalie said.

"Me, dance, with you two?" I said. There was no way. I would look like an idiot next to them. Alice reading my thoughts said, "Really, Bella, it's not that hard."

"If you say so." I said, not really believing her.

"We'll be there in like five minutes." Rosalie said.

And we were. The whole ride took about 45 minutes, the cottage was really far from civilization.

"We're here!" Alice sang.

I hesitated on getting out.

"Oh come on!" Rosalie called over her shoulder as they headed for the entrance. I hurried out of the car, and Alice locked the door. We got inside. It was crazy in here.

It was dark, and the lights made anyone wearing white appear to be glowing. There were people at the bar, and more on the dance floor.

The DJ was going crazy, shouting out something that I blocked out.

**(A/N I'm using music from our time cause like I don't know what music will be like in the future. The music in this chapter is random, from my iPod on shuffle =D**** ) **

_Thanks For The Mmrs_ by Fall Out Boy was blasting from the speakers. The most popular dance move, at the moment, involved jumping up and down, and throwing your arms in the air.

Something I was sure I would look ridiculous doing. I felt a hand around mine. Alice. She was being led by Rosalie, and leading me, to the center of the dance floor.

_One night and one more time _

_Thanks for the memories _

Alice and Rosalie began to dance. I stared at them lost.

_Thanks for the memories _

_Thanks for the memories _

They tried to get me to dance but I stood there like an idiot. Luckily the song ended.

"Bella! Come on! Loosen up!" Alice whined. Another song came on. It sounded familiar.

_Let's drop! _

I knew this song! What was it called?

_Shake shake, shake shake, a-shake it! _

When the chorus came on, I recognized it. _Shake It_ by Metro Station. Before thinking I was dancing.

"Way to go Bella!" Rosalie shouted over the music.

The three of us were in the center of the dance floor. It seemed as if everyone was dancing around us, feeding off our energy. I was all over the place. I couldn't believe it.

I _Bella Swan_ was _dancing_ at a _night club_! The most surprising part was that I was having fun. The song ended too soon. But another one followed. It was _Got Money_ by Lil Wayne.

By the second chorus, a wealthy looking man, who had like 5 girls hanging off of him, began to throw money into the air. Many people stopped dancing to catch it, but we didn't.

A small group of guys, presumably admirers, started to form around us. I could tell that they wanted to dance with us. For once I found this attention almost flattering.

Sure they probably wanted more than a dance, but it was our dancing skills, which including mine, which brought them over. After the song ended, _Promiscuous _came on.

For this song, Rosalie, Alice and I formed a sure group. We took turns, holding hands, mimicking each other's moves. A warning to the guys to keep their distance.

After that, maybe 5 more songs passed before Emmett, Jasper and Edward showed up. We were dancing to _So What_ when they approached us.

"You finally made it." Alice said, beginning to dance with Jasper.

"Yeah." Emmett said, dancing with Rosalie.

At this point I had stopped dancing. All that was left was Edward and I. Was Alice planning this? The smile on her face told me she was. Luckily, some drunk man approached me then.

"Want to dance sweet thang?" he asked me.

"Uh, no thanks." I said. I was relieved because the creepy guy gave me an excuse to leave the dance floor and go sit at the bar. I was surprised to see Edward sit down next to me.

"Anything I can get you folks?" the bartender asked us.

"No thank you." Edward and I said simultaneously.

"How much longer are we here for?" I asked Edward.

"I don't know." he said.

I groaned. It was fun while it lasted, but the rush had worn off once I stopped dancing, and there was no way I would start dancing again, especially with Edward here.

"You want to leave?" he asked me.

"Yeah, kind of." I said.

He took out his cell phone, and sent a text message.

"Let's go then." he said, hopping up.

"Go where?" I asked.

"Away from here." he said, smiling.

"To where?" I asked, impatiently.

"It's a surprise. You'll see." he said.

"Okay. But what about the others?"

"I texted Emmett and told him we were leaving. We're not going hunting until tomorrow afternoon anyway."

"If you say so."

I got up and followed him to his car. He got the door for me, and once inside my mind began to wander. Where was he taking me? Why did it have to be a secret?

"Relax, Bella. I'm pretty sure you'll have fun." he said, a crooked smile forming. If my heart could beat, it would have doubled in pace. Why, oh why did he have to be so beautiful? I had to remind myself that we were _friends_. That was all, friends.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yeah another short one **

**i'm HOPiNG that my next one will be good **

**i'm working on it now, actually. **

**where is he going to take her? hmmmm lol **

**i have decided where, but I'm not sure what they **

**will talk about once they get there. **

**reviews would be nice. i appreciate them! **

**and omg christmas eve is 2mro. did you do all your xmas shopping? **

**that is if you celebrate the holiday, if you don't **

**do you celebrate hanukkah? (sorry if i mispelled) **

**or like anything else? i've always wondered how life would **

**be without celebrating christmas. it just seems so weird **

**cuz like its what i've grown up with you know. **

**yeah so that was random **

**HAPPY HOLiDAYS!!!! **


	15. Teenagers

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

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**Chapter Fifteen **

**EPOV **

I knew where I was taking her. Part of me wished I had danced with her before leaving the night club.

It had been so long since we had last danced together, but something told me she was a little nervous when dancing around me. I glanced over at her.

Her forehead rested lightly on the window, and her eyes seemed unfocused. I wanted to know what she was thinking. I hoped she would like where I was bringing her.

It was a small garden like place, it had a little stream running through it, which connected to a little pond, about the size of a small pool. There was also a waterfall, and many trees and rocks.

We were almost there, and I was a little excited.

"Um, where are we?" Bella asked me, as I pulled over.

"We're almost here." I said.

I got out of the car. This time, Bella made no attempt to open her door. She waited for me to come around and get it. I was grateful, I felt so much more like a gentleman.

I opened the door for her. She looked a little confused as she got out.

"This is the big surprise?" she asked.

"No of course not. We have to go on foot the rest of the way." I said.

"Is it far?" she asked me.

"Not if we run."

"Run? Together?"

"If you can keep up." I teased.

"I'm sure I can." she said, a smile tugging at her lips.

I took off, and I could see Bella next to me. We were moving so fast, the only thing I could see clearly was her face. That was okay though, more than okay.

I knew where I was going, and I only had to tear my eyes off her to look forward once or twice. Then, all too soon we arrived. I stopped, and Bella did too.

"It's beautiful." she whispered, as we walked into the garden like area.

"I thought you'd like it." I said.

She sat down next to the stream, her legs crossed, dipping her fingers in the water. I sat in the same position, across from her, on the other side of the stream.

"Why did you want to leave the night club? You looked like you were enjoying yourself." I said, breaking the silence.

"Well I had fun for a while, dancing with Alice and Rosalie, but they kind of ditched me once you guys got there." she said.

"I can't believe they got you to dance." I said smiling.

"I can't either. I felt like I was dancing _well_, too."

"You were, believe me, you three were in the thoughts of the crowd of males surrounding you."

"No, they were probably just thinking about Alice and Rosalie." she said, not looking up.

"Sure some of them were thinking about my sisters. But there were a lot thinking about you." I said.

Why couldn't she believe that she was beautiful?

I thought that she always believed that all vampires were beautiful, I thought she would finally believe that she was beautiful now that she was a vampire.

I had always found her beautiful, and I didn't see much difference in her face now, maybe her features were sharpened a little, but she was the same beautiful Bella to me.

"If you say so. But I guess you would know more than anybody." she sighed.

"Is it so hard for you to believe?" I asked.

"No, well sort of. I guess I know that guys find me to be attractive, but I'm still surprised to see it. It's like I'll never get used to it.

I still feel like the awkward human Bella, but over the years I have gained confidence."

"You've always been found attractive by guys."

"And what about you? I'm sure you hear many girls thinking about you."

"Yes, but I just find it annoying."

I found it annoying because there was only one person that I wanted to want me, and I couldn't hear her thoughts.

She was the only one I wanted to find me attractive, she was the one who I wanted to be with.

Not all of the strangers I heard thinking about me. Bella was the only person who ever caught my interest in that way, and it was just annoying to hear other people wish they were with me.

The idea of me with anybody but Bella never crossed my mind, and it was annoying to hear it in the minds of others.

"I guess it would get annoying."

It was silent again. Bella was taking off her shoes.

"Sorry but these things are killing me." she said, as she slipped them off.

I just smiled at her. She looked so beautiful tonight, the moon making her skin sparkle a little bit. I looked down at my hand. I was sparkling too.

"I'm going to go exploring a little." Bella said, standing up.

She stood up., leaving her shoes behind. She went to the pond.

"It's safe right?" she asked me.

I stood up. I went on the other side on the pond.

"Yeah its safe." I said.

She walked on the rocks in the pond, skimming her feet over the water. She reached the other side.

"That was fun." she said, sounding surprised.

"It looks like fun." I said, "Watch this."

I looked at the waterfall. It was about 7 feet tall, maybe 3 and a half feet wide. I could make it. I walked up to it, Bella eyed me curiously.

Then I backed up, far. I ran and then jumped through the waterfall, and landed silently on the other side. I got wet from the waterfall, and my hair was a mess, but it was really fun.

"Beat that." I teased.

"Just watch me." Bella said, matching my teasing.

She went behind the waterfall. Then she bolted through it, so fast that the water separated, but only for one second. She ran through the pond, and stopped once she made it to the stream.

"Oops. I hope I didn't ruin the dress." she said once she stopped.

* * *

**Author's Note: Here ya go **

**It's not much and I never planned writing this chapter so here it is **

**Next is Bella's POV of like hunting I think **

**Or there might be more in this place idk**

**Reviews are great, thanks**


	16. Keeps Getting Better

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

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**Chapter Sixteen **

**BPOV **

Edward and I lay next to each other in the warm grass. There was maybe a foot between us, but we were still next to eachother.

We had just spent the past hour running through the stream, the pond and the waterfall. Laughing and playing, and getting soaking wet.

"Its nice to be outside." I said.

"It is." he agreed. We both were staring up at the sky, at the stars. He was able to name a few, and I wasn't able to name any. I turned my head, pressing my cheek to the grass, to look at him.

He looked so peaceful, so beautiful. I stared, I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help myself. He turned his head to look at me.

"What?" he asked, smiling shyly.

"I don't know." I lied.

"Would you mind—would it be okay, for me to ask what you're thinking?"

"Well, I was thinking that you're really beautiful." I said before I could realize what I was saying. I would _never_ have said anything like that aloud. Edward just laughed, and I started laughing too.

I was glad that he blew it off as nothing, I couldn't stand it if he said something intense again. Once our laughter died down, he just stared at me, so many emotions being expressed by his eyes.

I stared back, more confident than usual. All of the sudden my phone started ringing. I had forgotten that I even had it, let alone that I had the matching purse that Alice forced me to bring.

I tore my gaze from Edward, a little unwillingly and answered my phone without looking at it.

"Hello?" I said, sitting up as I answered.

"Hey, Bella. Are you okay?" It was Jonathan.

"Oh, hey Jonathan. I'm not feeling any better. I don't think I'll be in school tomorrow." I said, trying to sound sick.

"You sound sick. I'll make sure they know you're sick at school." he said.

"Thanks. And I feel _horrible_ right now. I have a _killer_ headache." I said.

"Well I hope you get better soon."

"So do I. Text me the homework assignments?" I offered.

"Sure. I'll let you get some rest now."

"Alright, bye Jonathan."

"Bye."

He hung up. I saw that I had new text messages. One was from Mia it said: Where'd you disappear to? You're not online or anything.

I responded: I was sick, jeez.

Another was from Alli. It said: Jacob told me something, I need to talk to you about it.

I got scared after reading that one. Jacob had imprinted on Alli, and he had to tell her everything.

He never had the need to tell her about vampires before, but he probably had to now that the Cullens were back. Did he tell her that I was a vampire too?

I responded to her text: Okay, but I won't be at school tomorrow.

I looked back at Edward.

"Your acting skills have improved." Edward said.

"I've had a lot of practice over the years."

"I see. Nice phone."

"Thanks, I just got it."

"Can I have your number?"

"You're asking for my number?" I smiled.

"If that's okay with you."

"It is."

I gave him my number, and he added it into his cell phone. It was weird to have him ask for my number.

It was also nice, and made me aware that he wanted to be around me, he wasn't leaving any time soon. I was warming up to him by the minute.

Edward and I lay together in the garden until morning, sometimes talking, other times looking at the sky, and a few times staring into each others. It felt kind of intimate, but then it didn't.

It was a hard feeling to explain, but I was comfortable around him. We returned to the cottage in the morning, around 9 am.

I was glad because after what I saw of everyone's dancing at the club, I had an idea of what their activities for the night would be, and with my improved hearing,

it would be very uncomfortable to sit through that, next to Edward. Luckily when we got there everyone was dressed.

I was still in my Betsy Johnson dress, and I wanted to change into my normal hunting outfit. It was an outfit that Mia bought me for Christmas last year.

She insisted that it was a great casual look for me, and that I should wear it. I wore it to school a couple of times, but it wasn't really my style.

It was blue sweatpants from Abercrombie with a matching blue hoodie and a white shirt with Abercrombie written across it.

I didn't really get into labels like that, but it was comfortable so I wore it when hunting.

When we walked inside I found everybody was in the living room, and they greeted Edward and I with smug smiles on their faces, well everyone except Esme and Carlisle.

I went back into the bedroom with my stuff to get changed. I came back into the living room and started talking to Esme.

"So, when do we hunt?" I asked.

"Well we can go whenever, we have the whole day." she said.

"And then what will we do?"

"Anything really. I think it's best to go hunting during the day, so we can go out and about at night."

I remembered how Edward and I sparkled on our brief moments outside today. There was no way we could go enjoy California right now, but we could at night. So we went to go hunt.

Watching Edward, and his family hunt was amazing.

It was something I always wanted to see, and it was still an experience, though I thought it wouldn't be due to the fact that I have hunted before.

We found ways of entertaining ourselves during the night, and made it back to Forks by very early Friday morning. Before there was any light. Edward and I approached my house.

"Want to come in. I feel rude, you let me come over your house, but I never invited you over." was what I told him. I really just wanted him there.

To see what it would feel like. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to just letting my love for him take over, closer to telling him how I truly felt.

"Sure." was his reply. He seemed like he was thinking about something as he came around and opened my door.

* * *

**Author's Note: jkfls jlksdfj ldsjldfjsa lfdasjdsa f**

**thats how i describe this **

**i'm sorry but i've got major writers block **

**i had the story all planned out **

**but then i got some reviews, and realized that **

**my story was getting stupider by the second. **

**idk what i'm going to do for the rest of it **

**i might just end it lol **

**plus im getting kind of lazy **

**i need advice**

**should i just end it? or how should i continue? **

**THANKS**


	17. Makes Me Happy

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Seventeen **

**EPOV **

I walked into Bella's house. It was a nice quiet little place, neatly furnished. I noticed that it was not far from Charlie's old house.

"You have a nice place." I told her.

"I'd like to think so." she said.

Bella went into the other room. I picked up the photo album I saw on the table. I flipped through it. The beginning started out with pictures from Bella's childhood, of her with her parents.

I smiled at the pictures of her growing up. Next were pictures she took with the camera she got for her birthday. Except for the ones I took, I remembered.

Then there were pictures of Bella as a vampire, with her parents and Phil. Finally there were some recent pictures, one at the beach with Bella, Jonathan, Mia, Mark, Alli and Jacob.

They were all smiling happily at the camera. I sighed and closed the album. I wished that I could have been there with her. I had missed so much of her life.

I tried not to think of that, to focus on the present. I was with her now, and I felt like she was beginning to trust me.

"I think Alice wants to come over and see your place." I said to Bella when she returned to the room.

"Call her and tell her to come over then." Bella said.

"I will, but first I wanted to show you something. If that's okay."

"It depends on what that something is."

"Well, it's better to _see_ than describe. Please, follow me."

"Okay." was all she said.

I led her out of her house. I ran the familiar path to Charlie's house, with Bella at my side. Luckily nobody was in the house.

"What do you have to show me _here_?" Bella asked, sounding scared.

"Come on."

We went upstairs, up to Bella's old room. I took a sharp intake of breath.

This room held so many memories, how I used to watch her while she slept, then I began to hold her while she slept in my arms. How she would ask me for a _human moment_.

Bella looked a little more anxious now that we were here, and I hated to give her discomfort, but there was something I had to do.

"I know you need time, and you just want to be friends. But I hope this will help you think, or at least believe me when I say that I've always loved you." I said.

I watched her face carefully and she didn't look too uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry if I bother you by doing this, but I couldn't bear for you not to know the truth."

I said as I got on my knees and moved the still loose floorboard to retrieve the birthday gifts my family and I gave Bella so long ago, along with the pictures.

"I put these here, because I wanted you to remember me when I left. I was selfish, but in my heart I loved you too much to want you to forget me." I said, looking straight into her eyes.

"You left these here? For me?" she asked, incredulous.

"Yes. I'm sorry if this is something I wouldn't tell you as a friend, but I couldn't help myself." I said.

"No, friends tell friends the truth. Right? You can tell me all of this as a friend."

"You're right." I said, smiling, relieved that she wasn't upset.

"I'm glad you told me this." she said.

All of the sudden her arms were around my neck, she was hugging me. I hugged her back, surprised at her sudden action. She backed away and looked at me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

I cut her off, "No it's okay. I'm glad that made you happy."

"It did." she said, smiling hugely at me.

I couldn't help but smile back. We went back to her house, and she put the things away in her room. It made me happy to see that she wanted to keep them.

It made me extremely happy when she hugged me, I felt like I was getting closer to gaining her full trust again. When Bella called Alice, she said that everyone was on their way over.

We spent the rest of the day there, and I got to be near Bella for most of it, except when the girls went to her room to inspect her closet.

We played some video games, and once that got old we played board games, and shared funny experiences we had.

I had a great time, and was happy to know that I would spend the next day with Bella. Surprisingly the next day came sooner than I thought it would.

We all drove out to Port Angeles, and went to the mall that had recently been built.

**BPOV **

We arrived at the mall and Alice began to plan our day.

"So first we should pick out our dresses, suits for you guys. And then we should look for appropriate accessories, shoes and _undergarments_."

"Whatever you want, Alice." I said, not even bothering trying to argue.

We separated from the boys to get our dresses, Alice and Rosalie wanted to surprise Jasper and Emmett. We went to a little dress shop first, but didn't find anything.

Then we went to Macy's, and found some interesting dresses, but Alice said we would find better at Lord and Taylor. And we did. We each found a dress there.

Rosalie got a satin BCBG dress. It fit her perfectly, it was sleeveless and came up a couple inches above her knee. Alice got a pink dress, with a rose covered belt thing on it.

It was silk and came maybe an inch above her knee. I got a dark blue dress that I had to admit looked really good on me. It was strapless and came a few inches above my knee.

I felt good in the dress, and I hoped that Jonathan would wear a suit that wouldn't stand out from my dress too much. Then we headed out to buy some shoes.

"Since we saved a lot of money on the dresses, we should really treat ourselves with everything else." Alice said as we entered another expensive looking department store.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Get some nice shoes." Rosalie said, eyeing a pair of Manolos.

I already felt bad enough about having them pay for me, but I felt even worse when Alice made me get a pair of shoes that cost _a lot_ more money than the dress.

"Come on Bella. It's the least I can do." Alice said as she paid.

I felt a little better, and decided not to complain because it would ruin their fun, and they were helping me out by paying.

After buying shoes and purses to match our dresses, we headed to Victoria's Secret to get panties and bras that wouldn't show through said dresses.

It had taken us almost the whole day to do this shopping, and I was tired. I just wanted to go sit down somewhere and take a break.

It took us forever to find everything, the dresses, the accessories, the _undergarments_.

And on top of that Alice dragged me into this professional looking hair salon to get my hair done for no apparent reason.

Her and Rosalie also got their hair done, but I got the most changes.

I got side bangs cut, just because they were having a special on bangs, and I had not done anything different with my hair in _years. _We finally left and returned to the Cullens' house.

"You boys have to stay down here. We're trying on our full outfits." Rosalie said. Esme accompanied us as we went to try on our dresses again.

"You girls look beautiful." Esme said once we had changed.

"Thanks." Alice, Rosalie and I said in unison.

Esme headed back downstairs to check on what the guys were doing, because they were awfully quiet.

"Carlisle! Edward!" Alice shouted, "Come up here!"

"I'm sorry Alice but I'm busy." I heard Carlisle say.

"Okay, well just Edward then." Rosalie concluded.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in. We need your opinion." Alice said, winking at me. I gave her a quick warning look before Edward came in.

He looked at us one by one. First Alice and Rosalie.

"You all look," he started, then his eyes came to me, "beautiful." he finished, his voice velvety, his eyes burning into mine, making me _feel _beautiful.

He seemed to realize that he was focusing to hard on me and turned back to Rosalie and Alice.

"Emmett and Jasper are going to love you in those." he told them,

he turned back to me, "And Jonathan is a fool not to love you in that." he said, smiling at me in a friendly way, but I could feel a deeper meaning in his words. He meant them as more than a friend, but in a subtle way.

"Alright, you've served your purpose. Get out." Rosalie said.

Edward left the room.

"He's so crazy about you." Alice said, as if it were nothing new.

"He can hear you!" I said, laughing it off. Though inside I felt a little warm at the thought of Edward crazy about me. Though it was unnecessary, Edward drove me home Sunday morning.

I thanked him and he left. Once I got inside I got out all of my presents he had given me oh so long ago. I put the CD into my computer and played it as I added the music into my iPhone.

I looked at the pictures for a very long time. Though the presents held many painful memories, they held pleasant memories as well.

I was so happy when he told me that he wanted me to remember him, he wanted to leave some part of him with me, and how he reminded me that he never stopped loving me.

It made me happy to know that. I could probably trust him, and I knew I loved him. It wasn't just the right time to tell him yet, too soon.

In the afternoon I got a text from Alli asking me to come meet her at Jake's house. I had a bad feeling what it was about, but I knew I could handle it. Or I thought so.

* * *

**Author's Note: Oh yeah! Update, bby! lol so here yall go. **

**i updated, its short but the best i could manage. **

**(i got distracted. video games....) **

**reviews, reviews, reviews! please & thanks **

**and don't the dresses sound cute? **

**i totally wanted alice's dress, i considered ordering it when i was looking it up**

**but then i realized im broke! lol sooo yeah **

**please review, and ideas for the rest ARE HELPFUL **

**oh and happy kwanzaa! it starts today **


	18. Amazing

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Eighteeen **

**BPOV **

Jake was out with the pack. It was just Alli and I at his house, but she told me he would be there later. Did that mean she still wanted to be around me now that she most likely knew my secret? I felt bad for not telling her before, but I didn't want her to be disgusted with me, or I feared that I would be putting her in danger.

"So, I _know_." Alli started.

We sat across from each other at the table in Jake's dining room. She knew. How could I explain to her? She probably knew about my history with the Cullens too.

"I'm sorry I never told you myself. I know Jake told you because the Cullens moved back to Forks, and you deserve to know." I said.

"He told me about your relationship with them…"

"Yes. I loved him, Alli. I was in love with Edward. And he left me, and I was broken. Not so much anymore, he's back in my life. I don't think he'll leave me again, but sometimes I think he will, even though we are just friends. I feel like I don't deserve him."

"Oh, Bella. I'm sure that he loves you, and if he doesn't, he's not good enough for you. That's what troubled me the most about what Jake told me. Not about how you and the Cullens are—are vampires. No, it was how much you went through because of them. I care about you Bella, and I can hardly imagine the pain you must have went through, especially seeing them after all of these years."

"Yes, it was painful, but now I'm learning to be comfortable around them, and Edward and I, we're friends. Well we're trying anyway."

"That's good to hear. And if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

"You still want to be my friend? You're not disgusted with what I am? I would understand if you didn't want to hang around me anymore." I tried to hide the pain in this statement.

"Bella, our friendship is important to me. I'm not going to let something as small as finding out that you're a vampire ruin that. There is no reason for me _not_ to hang out with you. I trust you, and know that you would never hurt me—or anyone else for that matter." she said earnestly.

I was very happy that this didn't affect our friendship, except maybe to strengthen it. Alli had to leave before Jacob got home, and I stayed back to talk to him.

"Jake!" I said when he walked in.

"I knew I smelled a vampire." Jacob said, dropping his bag to give me a hug.

We went and sat down next to each other on the couch.

"So, I talked to Alli today." I started.

"You're not mad that I told her, you know I can't keep secrets from her." he said, looking anxious.

"No, I'm fine with it. She doesn't hate me, so all is good." I said.

"I don't believe that anybody could ever hate you, you're too nice."

"I used to be, maybe. I've changed."

"Well you have changed, but you're acting like Bella again." Jake smiled at me.

I wondered what was causing me to become myself again. I was pretty sure I knew the answer. Ever since I had been around the Cullens again, I was acting the way I used to, in a good way.

"So, I haven't talked to you in forever. How have you been holding up?" Jake asked me.

"Things have definitely been getting better for me now. It was really hard, at first, when the Cullens came back, but now I've spent time with them, I've been feeling better." I said.

"Well, if that bloodsucker makes you happy, I won't hurt him for ever hurting you."

"Yes, Edward is a great _friend_."

Jacob raised his eyebrows upon hearing me refer to Edward as my friend, but he said nothing more on the subject. I stayed with Jake for a while longer, just catching up, and I headed home to get ready for school. I hadn't been to school in so long, and I had a ton of homework to turn in. Completing the homework didn't take me too long, it was just turning it in that took time.

School that week was torture. Everybody was looking forward to the dance, and freaking out about getting dates. All of my friends were happy to see me, since I had been absent for a few days—because I was "sick". While I was over the Cullens' house, we decided that it would be best if people did not know that I was friends with them, a better cover in case suspicions arose. So basically I couldn't hang out with any of them, and if I did I would have to act like I never met them before recently.

The week went by so slowly. But nothing happened of interest really. I spent most of my free time after school with my human friends, so I barely ever got to speak to the Cullens. I got to talk to Edward a lot in Science class, but I couldn't really talk to them in Gym because all of my human friends were there. I was a little saddened by this, because finally when I fix things up with them, I have no time to enjoy that.

Saturday finally rolled around, the day of the dance. Jonathan was going to pick me up from my house at 6pm, so I had the whole day to prepare. I went hunting all through Friday night, and when I returned home I found that Edward's Volvo was parked out front. I walked around the driver side and he rolled down the window.

"Edward? This is a pleasant surprise." I said.

"I called first but your phone was off. Alice sent me to get you." Edward said, smiling sheepishly.

"Oh no. She's getting ready for the dance, isn't she?" I asked.

"You know Alice." Edward said.

I walked around and got into the car. We arrived at their house in no time. Edward walked me up to Alice's room. My dress was there, along with the accessories, shoes and undergarments I bought when I went shopping. Luckily everything except the dress was folded and placed into a shopping bag.

"Bella!" Alice said, hugging me as she greeted me.

"Alice, it's been too long." I said, rolling my eyes.

"But it has, you haven't talked to us all week. I thought you were mad again. I was trying to figure out what we did wrong." Alice said, laughing.

I was glad that we were past things enough to joke about them, just like any normal family does. Of course they weren't normal family, but sometimes they acted like one, and I felt more and more a part of said family every day.

"I've been busy. All of my other friends have been keeping me from you. And I can't just ditch them."

"Well you're here now, and that's what matters." she said, dragging me into the huge bathroom.

Rosalie was in there, holding a brush and a bottle of hairspray.

"Should I be scared?" I asked Rosalie, as they sat me down.

"No, you should be excited!" Rosalie said, sincerely.

I was actually looking forward to the dance, and I was glad that the after party was cancelled at the last minute. I was dreading the after party, so now I would just be going to dinner and the dance. I told Jonathan that he should pay for the tickets to the dance, and I would pay for dinner. He tried to argue, but I insisted. I would feel bad about having him pay for my dinner, since I wouldn't be actually eating it.

Preparing for the dance with Alice and Rosalie took almost all day. They had finished at 5:30pm, giving me enough time to get back home. I had to admit, that I did look good, and I felt good too. They put just enough product in my hair so that it was shinier than usual, and more full of life. My side bangs were on the right, and hung over my eye a little bit, but that's how I liked my hair to be. My toenails weren't painted but they were shined, and my nails were painted a dark blue, almost black. Alice and Rosalie looked me over.

"It's almost perfect. It needs something…" Alice began.

"A necklace!" Rosalie said.

"Exactly!" Alice said, "Edward. Come in here."

Edward walked in, staring at each of us in our beauty. Well I'd like to think that his eyes lingered longer on me, but it was probably just my eyes playing tricks on me.

"You requested my prescense?" Edward asked, smirking.

"We need a necklace. For Bella. Bring one that would match her dress." Alice said.

"Oh, no you all don't have to." I said.

"It's fine Bella, Edward like has all of this jewelry that belonged to his mother. He gives it to us all the time. No big deal." Rosalie assured me.

Edward left the room.

"If you say so." I mumbled.

He returned in an instant. His right hand clamped into a fist.

"Now let's see that on Bella. Be a dear and put it on her." Alice said.

Edward looked into my eyes, as if to ask if it was okay with me. I nodded my head, curious to see what the necklace would look like. He walked up behind me, and I heard him unclasp the necklace. I looked straight ahead, only wanting to see the necklace when I had it on completely. He took it in one hand and brought it to the side of my neck, carefully not touching me. He took the other side of the necklace in his other hand, and brought it around my neck. I felt his hand at the back of my neck as he clasped it. I resisted the urge to shudder at the electricity I felt whenever he touched me. I looked down. It was a pearl necklace, the pearls weren't huge, but they were definaltely real. It was beautiful.

"Thank you, Edward." I said, turning around to give him a friendly hug. I felt another shock of electricity so I quickly kissed him on his cheek. That was friendly enough, right? Alice and Rosalie were off getting their purses ready through this whole exchange, and I was glad because I would not want to hear their little comments on it later.

"I'll return this to you after the dance." I said to a smiling Edward. He was obviously pleased with what passed between us.

"No, don't. Keep it. It's a gift, Bella." Edward said, meeting his beautiful eyes with mine. I had to remind myself not to get lost in those eyes.

"Thank you again." I said, not trying to argue and return the gift. I was surprised that in the minute I had worn it I had grown attached. I was getting better at accepting gifts.

"That's perfect." Alice said, eyeing the necklace.

"Great choice, Edward. Rosalie said.

"Well I ought to be going. Jonathan is going to be at my house soon." I said, heading for the door.

"I'll take you." Edward said, following me.

Edward dropped me off at home.

"I'll see you later?" I asked him, right before I got out of the car.

"Yes. Save a dance for me?" he eyed me hopefully.

"We'll see." I teased as I exited the car. I watched him as he drove off. This was going to be an interesting night.

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**Author's Note: **

**R&R **

**Should Edward take Tanya? yay or nay? **


	19. It's Like That

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

_And the song lyrics in here belong to Run DMC. _

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**Chapter Nineteen **

**EPOV **

I drove away from Bella's house. I was feeling more confident that she was beginning to like me again. She had looked so beautiful tonight, and I was glad that she accepted my gift.

There was no way she was returning that necklace to me, it was perfect for her, and I loved seeing her wear it.

I wished that Bella wasn't going to the dance with Jonathan, but I knew they were just friends, and one dance couldn't change that.

I couldn't wait to get to the dance. I wanted to dance with Bella the whole night, but that was impossible. I hoped she would let me have her for one dance, just one would be enough for me.

I felt like Bella was taking a long time to sort out her feelings, but I knew that it was all of my fault in the first place, and that I was lucky that she still wanted to even be friends with me.

I knew know that she doesn't hate me, and that she definitely wants me, in some ways.

I still felt electricity run through me at her touch, and being close to her and keeping my hands to myself was almost impossible.

When I was putting the necklace around her neck, I reminded myself not to touch her, but I couldn't help it.

Seeing her neck like that reminded me of the day in the meadow, when I was seeing how close I could be to Bella.

When I ran my hands up and down her neck, watching the beautiful blush creep up to her cheeks as her pulse increased.

I wondered if I still had that affect on her, even though now she is a vampire.

I think I did, considering after I touched her, she gave me a kiss. Sure it was on the cheek, but that had to count for something.

When I got home Alice told me to get ready to go. I put on my suit, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I knew that I was good looking, and that Bella thought so.

But that's all I ever cared about. All of the other females who were ever attracted to me meant nothing, but I always felt bad about turning down the ones who asked me out.

Bella was the only person who I ever loved, and the only person whose opinion of my appearance really mattered to me. Alice walked in.

"You look great, Edward." she said, standing next to me in the mirror.

"Thanks. You look beautiful." I said to Alice.

"I'm sorry that you're going alone. But I don't think your evening will be completely uneventful." Alice said, smiling at me.

"You know why I'm going." I said.

"Yes, and I hope for your sake that Bella will dance with you. It must be torture to see her looking the way she does and in the arms of some other guy."

"It is. But nothing will happen between them."

"Right." Alice said, leaving the room.

The dance didn't start until 7pm, so we had some time to spare. Alice and Rosalie made their grand entrance to Jasper and Emmett. I envied them a little bit, they got to be with their loves tonight.

When we arrived at the dance, we all took separate cars but entered together, I looked around. Bella hadn't arrived yet.

The gym looked really nice, and It Ends Tonight by the All American Rejects was playing. I remembered that it was Oldies night.

I found this slightly amusing. They called this old, try the music I heard growing up.

I took a seat a few feet from the punch bowl. A few girls who came together as friends eyed me. One of them decided that she would ask me to dance later.

I guess I could accept, but the only person I wanted to dance with was Bella.

**BPOV **

Jonathan came at 6pm sharp. Instead of going out for dinner, I decided to try cooking.

I had cooked for Charlie and Renee all of the time when they were alive, so the food wasn't horrible, and if it was Jonathan didn't say so.

He looked so handsome in his tux. Jonathan was a good looking guy, I had to admit.

He had black hair, but barely any, his skin was a medium brown color, one time when I was over his house his mother told me that his skin reminded her of brown sugar, his eyes were a light brown, framed by pretty eyelashes.

He had practically perfect teeth, and a cute smile. I knew a couple of girls who had fallen for his charms, and I felt bad because there were tons of other girls who would have loved to go to the dance with him. Then again, I knew he liked me, but I knew that he was fine with going as friends.

We took his car, and got to the dance a little late.

"Ready?" he said, offering me his arm.

"Yeah, let's go." I said, as he lead me into the gym.

The decorations were great, whoever was in charge did a good job. Some song that I was unfamiliar with ended, and Umbrella by Rihanna played.

We walked up to Mia and Mark. Mark was trying to rap along with the Jay-Z intro but couldn't keep up when he says _You know me, an anticipation for precipitation, stack chips for the rainy day._

"Dude, don't do that." I said to Mark as we came up.

"Nice try." Jonathan teased.

Mark just scowled and looked down.

"Its so cool in here." I said to Mia.

"I know. I hardly recognize it as our gym!" she exclaimed.

"Let's grab a table." Jonathan said.

We found a table with 6 seats, and sat down. When the song ended, Alli and Jake joined us.

"How's the dance floor?" I asked them.

"It's great. I love dancing." Alli said.

I looked over at where everyone was dancing. Sure enough Alice was there dancing with Jasper, and Rosalie was dancing with Emmett. Where was Edward?

"Let's all go now then." Mia said, standing up grabbing Mark's hand.

"Okay." I said, getting up. Jonathan took my hand and led me to the dance floor.

Just then the song changed. Now It's Like That by Run DMC was playing.

"Remember how we had that dance to this song?" Mark asked Jonathan and Jake.

"Oh yeah. From last summer!" Jonathan said.

I started laughing remembering. We were all at the La Push beach, and they were all dancing around like idiots, rapping along with the song.

Mark ran up to the DJ. He said something, and the song was starting over. The three guys went to the center of the dance floor. Alli, Mia, and I stood next to each other, anticipating what they were about to do.

_Unemployment at a record high_

_People coming, people going, people born to die _

_Don't ask me, because I don't know why _

_But it's like that, and that's the way it is _

They were all rapping along with the song, doing the same dance movements.

_People in the world tryin to make ends meet _

_You try to ride car, train, bus, or feet _

_I said you got to work hard, you want to compete _

_It's like that, and that's the way it is _

_Huh! _

They ran forward, towards us, the crowd splitting for them.

_Money is the key to end all your woes _

_Your ups, your downs, your highs and your lows _

_Won't you tell me the last time that love bought you clothes? _

_It's like that, and that's the way it is _

_Bills rise higher every day _

_We receive much lower pay _

_I'd rather stay young, go out and play _

_It's like that, and that's the way it is _

_Huh! _

_Wars going on across the sea _

_Street soldiers killing the elderly _

_Whatever happened to unity? _

_It's like that, and that's the way it is _

They now came up to each of us, Mark to Mia, Jake to Alli, and Jonathan to me. We all started dancing together, and all of the guys would jump up together to say _It's Like That._ When the song was coming to a close they moved away from us, and stood together. Mark was in the middle, Jake and Jonathan on the sides.

_You know it's like that, and that's the way it is_

_Because it's like that, and that's the way it is_

Jonathan and Jake faced out and crossed their arms over their chests. Mark beng down and rested his arm on his knee, his chin on his fist.

Everyone around us started applauding, and I was laughing. They got up, and we all ran back to our table laughing.

"That was great you guys." I said, once I could control your laughing.

"It really was!" Mia said.

"Glad you all enjoyed that." Mark said, proud that he made up for his bad attempt at rapping earlier.

A new song was playing, and people were trying to get the attention we had gotten by dancing, but they weren't succeeding. I had completely forgotten that I was looking for Edward.

I glanced around the gym, too quick for my friends to see. I saw him sitting close to the punch bowl. His eyes were on mine, I waved and smiled at him.

"Do you all want some punch? I'm really thirsty." I said.

A chorus of yeses came from the table.

"I'll come with you, if you'd like." Jonathan offered.

"No, it's cool. You take a break for a minute." I smiled at him.

I walked over to the punch bowl and began pouring a glass. I turned around to see if anybody was watching me, but they were all talking to a girl from our gym class with her freshman sister. When I looked back, Edward was across the table from me.

"Long time no see." I said to him.

"Do you need some help?" he asked.

"Sure. Pour three glasses will you?" I asked.

He began to pour the punch.

"Why are you sitting alone?" I asked him.

"My siblings abandoned me." he motioned towards the dance floor.

"Oh, don't you have any friends?" I teased.

"Yes, but she was busy."

He was talking about me. That made me smile.

"Help me carry this stuff to my table."

"Okay," he said.

We walked back to where my friends sat. Jacob and Alli looked at me curiously when they saw Edward with me.

"Where's Jonathan?" I asked, noticing his absence.

"Some girl asked him to dance, and you know Jonathan, always the gentleman." Alli said, rolling her eyes.

"I kind of want to dance." Mia said. She and Mark went to the dance floor.

"So do I." Alli said, eyeing Edward and I again. She took Jake's hand and lead him to the dance floor. I was left alone with Edward.

"Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?" Edward asked, very polietely.

"Sure." I felt dumb for not coming up with a better thing to say.

We kept our distance as we walked to the dance floor. It felt a little awkward, because when all of my friends went to go dance, they held hands.

I was scared that a slow song would play as soon as we came up. I was surprisingly better at dancing to fast songs. Luckily for me, _Paralyzed _by Rock Kills Kid came on.

It was fun, watching Edward dance to this song. It didn't seem like the type of dancing Edward would do. Then again, he was great at everything. I don't even remember how I was dancing, but when the song was over, I felt a rush that only comes from dancing.

"You dance beautifully." Edward said to me.

"So do you. I think we should dance together for another song. Since we both dance so well." I said.

The next song was _Three Wishes _by The Pierces. It was a slow song, but I surprised myself by moving closer to Edward.

We slow danced, his hands by my waist, my arms around his neck. We stood relatively far apart, compared to the couples surrounding us.

But we were close, close enough for me to smell his sweet scent, the one that had made my head swim when I was human. I kept my eyes on the ground, watching my feet.

I tried to ignore the fact that his bronze hair was just centimeters away from my fingertips, and that if I leaned in, our lips could touch.

I knew he was watching me, so I raised my eyes to meet his. We spent the rest of the song, dancing, gazing into each others eyes. I tried to read his expression.

His eyes were light, like he was happy. I smiled shyly at him, and his eyes got brighter when he smiled my favorite crooked smile at me.

I was able to read his expression, he was happy and his eyes were full of love. For me. I didn't know how I was looking at him, but I hoped I wasn't blowing our friendship.

The song ended and Edward and I separated. He walked me back to my table.

"Thank you." he mummured, too low for any human to hear, before going back to where he was sitting.

My friends returned to the table shortly. We sat through a few songs, and then got up to dance. I danced with Jonathan to a lot of fast songs, and a few slow songs. We talked while dancing, exaiming those dancing around us. After dancing with Jonathan, I danced with Jacob.

"So, you and Edward." Jake said suggestively.

"Are just friends." I said.

"Sure."

"Really, we are. I am perfectly capable of being just friends with him."

"And him? Is he capable? Do you _see_ the way he looks at you?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I said, even though I was quite aware of the way Edward looks at me.

"Because he is so obvious. I don't like him much, but I know he's crazy about you."

I slapped Jake playfully on the shoulder for saying that so loud.

"He could probably hear you." I whisper yelled.

I had just seen Edward dancing with Alice nearby.

"Well he probably wants you to know." Jake said.

"Okay subject change. You and Alli looked pretty cozy today." I said.

"She's great. I love her so much."

"I'm glad to see you so happy, Jake." I said, meaning it.

"I wish I could see you as happy." Jake said.

"I am happy." and I was. Happy in most aspects of my life.

"You know what I mean. Happy and with somebody." Jake said.

"I'll find somebody. Maybe I could use one of those match making websites." I joked.

**EPOV **

I was dancing with Alice, but I was really listening in on Bella and Jacob's conversation. Some of the things she said upset me a little. I sighed. Jacob didn't like me.

Even beyond the differences in who we are, he resented me for the pain I caused Bella. I could also see in his thoughts that he thought that Bella loved me. I hoped that was true. I wished that I could make Bella happy, in the way that Jacob must make Alli happy.

I thought back to dancing with Bella. I was grateful of those two dances. I loved being able to hold Bella in my arms, and look into her eyes. She was so beautiful, inside and out. I didn't deserve somebody so good. After dancing with Alice I returned to my spot apart from everybody else. I watched Bella for the rest of the night. I watched her sitting and joking with her friends, I watched her as she danced. I wished that I could be with her, sitting next to her. But nobody knew that I knew Bella, that we were close friends. I had to keep my distance. I decided that I would visit her when the dance was over.

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**Author's Note: **

**Yeahhh another chapter. **

**Sorry for making the guys act kinda silly. **

**I wanted to include that song in the story. **

**It has nothing to do with the story, but I was looking for a title **

**and my iPod was on shuffle and It's Like That came on. **

**It's such a good song. sooo there. **

**Most people said nay for Tanya, but she might come up later. **

**Do you think she should? And Edward won't like her at all, like that. **

**He's just a gentleman. **

**Do you want something to happen between Bella and Jonathan? **

**Something to make her realize that she loved Edward? Or no. **

**I personally love Jonathan. He is supposed to look a little like **

**my brother, lol he acts like him too. **

**Does anybody want Jonathan to find another girl, **

**or what? opinions needed before I write the next chapter. **

**Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR! **

**R&R **


	20. Say Hey I Love You

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

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_**Chapter Twenty **_

_**BPOV **_

I had a great time at the dance. I danced with my friends, both girls and guys. I danced to fast songs and slow songs. And I danced with Edward. The dance ended very late. Jonathan was really nice the whole time, and I was glad to see him and Helen, the girl he danced with while I danced with Edward, getting along. Helen seemed perfect for him, and she was beautiful, and I hoped that they could see that and get together. Jonathan was such a great guy and he deserved somebody better than me. Somebody who hadn't been through as much heartbreak as me. Also he deserved somebody who wasn't a vampire.

Jonathan walked me to my door. I said goodbye and entered my house. When I went to my room to drop off my things, I returned to the front of the house and found Edward there. I wasn't really surprised, I could faintly smell him, but it could have been traces left from the other times he'd been here.

"Edward." I said politely, lounging on the couch.

"Is this a bad time? I could leave?" he said, sounding like leaving was the last thing in the world he wanted to do.

"No, it's fine. You can stay." I said, smiling up at him.

"You are always welcome here." I added.

He sat down on the chair closest to where I was. I tried to think of something we could do. I tried not to just be around Edward and not have something to do. If I did, I would probably just listen to my heart and go right back to him, and that wasn't okay. I had to do this sensibly, since last time going with my heart ended in heartbreak.

I reached on the table next to me and grabbed my Rubiks Cube. Over the years I had gotten pretty good at it, and I would amuse myself by trying to arrange in a way that was complicated to solve. I tried to solve and unsolved the Rubiks Cube at a human pace, just because it was more of a challenge.

"Did you have fun at the dance?" I asked Edward.

"I did." he said.

"You hardly danced." I noted.

"There wasn't anyone to dance with."

"There were plenty of people without partners. You should learn to be a bit more social." I said, a smile creeping up on my face. I remembered when I used to be unsocial. I didn't always like to talk to people, and sometimes I felt shy and self-conscious, but being unsocial made me feel alone. And I hated that feeling.

"I guess I should, but there was only one person I wanted to dance with at the time. Of course, she would always be the only person I ever wanted to dance with." he said, gazing into my eyes.

"I danced with people that I didn't necessarily want to dance with." I said, remembering the little freshman boy who asked me to dance.

Edward's face fell, and for a second a look of pain flashed through his eyes. He tried to hide it, but I saw it there. He must have thought that I was referring to _him_.

"You should have seen some of the guys I agreed to dance with. They were terrible dancers compared to you. You were definitely one of my better partners." I said to him, trying to lighten the mood.

His eyes brightened. He understood. He knew that I was talking about the others who had asked me to dance, not him.

"Who was your best partner?" he asked me.

"Hmm. Well it was a three-way tie. It would either be you, Jonathan, or Jacob. My three best guy friends." I responded.

Truthfully, Edward was definitely my favorite dance partner. He would always be. I just loved the feeling of being in his strong arms. But I knew that if Edward heard this, we wouldn't be able to do the whole _friends _thing anymore. It was hard enough already.

"Can I assume that you enjoyed yourself at the dance?" he said, raising his right eyebrow.

"Oh, yes. It was one of my favorite dances."

My favorite dance was probably the dance I went to with Edward, all those years ago. I remembered not knowing where we were going. I was secretly hoping he was going to change me that night, but I was wrong. He took me to the prom, and I danced with him all night, except for one dance I had with Jacob. I was so different then, so fragile, so human. Edward was the same but different now. It was hard to explain, but my view of him changed a little through the years, especially since now I was a vampire.

I looked at Edward now. He looked the same, beautiful as always. I always wondered how somebody like him could ever love me. He was beautiful, inside and out, and I always felt like plain little Bella, even now that I'm a vampire. I wondered why he was here tonight, not that I minded. I truly meant it when I said that he was always welcome here, but his house was so much bigger than my own. Why would he want to come here?

"Why are you here, anyway?" I asked, curiosity leaking in my voice letting him know that I didn't mind that he was here, I was just wondering.

"Well I was getting kind of lonely at home. Everyone was busy, and plus I haven't been able to talk to you at all barely. I've missed your company."

"I've missed your company too." I said, focusing on the Rubiks Cube again, "We should hang out more."

"I'd like that." he said.

I shifted uncomfortably. The dress I was wearing was really starting to bug me. I thought of all of my comfortable clothes in my closet.

"I need a minute." I said, getting up.

I went into my room and searched through my closet. I put on a plain gray tank top and some black sweats. I looked at the pearl necklace I was wearing. I didn't want to take it off just yet. Isank back down into the couch. I stared at Edward.

"I miss being able to sleep sometimes." I said. **(A/N: Has Bella already said this in the story? If she did, I'm sorry for repeating)**

"I miss being able to watch you sleep." Edward said, looking deep into my eyes.

It was so hard to stay away from him now. To have this great distance between us when all I wanted to do was touch his face. To trace those beautiful features with my fingertips. I could feel my mind struggling to keep my arm from reaching out towards him.

"What are you thinking?" Edward whispered, a desperate edge to his voice.

"I was thinking," I said moving forward a little. I was confident. "I wanted to do this." I said, and I slowly reached out my hand, and took his hand in mine. I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb, thrilled to feel the electricity that always came with his touch. Edward looked up at me with a question in his eyes, and I was scared to answer that question. I didn't want to anything that would cause me pain later—if things didn't work out.

"Bella?" he whispered, his voice coming out strangled.

Why did I keep second-guessing everything in my relationship with Edward? Why couldn't I just _trust_ him? I had feelings for him, I loved him, so why couldn't I trust him, or myself. He loved me, and he said he left me for my own good. Why couldn't I tell him I loved him too? Why couldn't I get over the belief that nothing about me could hold somebody as great as him. Life without him was torture, and having him back in my life was so great. I felt like myself again. And now I was a vampire, so why would he leave me? He didn't have to act human again, he didn't have to restrain himself. Being a couple would be easier than it was before. I wanted to tell him, that I thought I was ready, but I wasn't sure how.

"Bella?" he asked again in the same strangled voice.

"Edward, _please._" I said, looking into his eyes, hoping he would do this one favor for me. To let me see if what I was about to do was okay.

I looked down at our hands together. His skin was no longer cold. I brought our hands to my face slowly. I guided his hand and made it brush across the skin of my face. If I were human I would have blushed. Edward wasn't saying anything, my silent message to him had been received. I brought his hand by my mouth. I kissed each of his knuckles, and then kissed the back of his hand. I heard his intake of breath. I looked over at him and saw that is eyes were closed.

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**Author's Note: Wooowww it's been a long time since I updated. I've been soooo busy. And this story is no longer interesting to me. I'll finish it for the sake of the people who i hope enjoy it. **


	21. Kiss

**Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

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**Chapter Twenty One **

BPOV

Just as I was getting ready to tell Edward, to tell him that I loved him, but my phone chose to ring at that moment.

I jumped up, realizing what I was about to do. Shaking my head to get out of my trance, I picked up my phone and answered.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, it's me." Jonathan answered.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I just wanted to thank you for coming with me tonight."

"The pleasure was mine. I had a lot of fun."

"Yeah. You danced with a lot of guys." Jonathan commented.

"Including you." I reminded him.

"I saw you dancing with that Edward guy. Do you like him?" Jonathan asked.

I would have blushed if I could. Edward could hear every little thing Jonathan was telling me.

"I don't know. I just met the guy." I said, laughing.

"Yeah, and I just met Helen." Jonathan said.

"Wait—does that mean?" I asked him, excited.

"I asked her out, and she said yes!" Jonathan said.

"Congrats, Jonathan! I always thought you two would make a good couple. And you did look pretty cozy at the dance today."

"I'm really happy. But I know it's late, and you need your sleep. I'll talk to you soon." Jonathan said.

"Bye Jonathan." I said, smiling.

I sighed and faced Edward. There was a look on his face, almost like he was struggling to contain something within himself. I wondered at what it could be.

EPOV

Bella had just gotten off the phone with Jonathan. I was very upset with that boy at the present moment. Though the conversation provided me with insight as to Bella's feelings on the boy, it stopped her from saying something.

Before the phone interrupted us, I could see something in Bella's eyes. Like she was ready. Ready to take me back, I hoped. I didn't deserve her, but I wanted her. She was so perfect.

I noticed how she still wore the necklace I gave her, even though it was more formal than what she currently wore.

I knew that Bella was pretty much ready to tell me how she felt. Positive or negative, I couldn't bear the suspense. But I just wanted the chance to remind her how much I loved her, and how I could never leave her again. That leaving her was the biggest mistake of my exsistence.

Instead I stared into her eyes. Looking for some hope, the trust in me that used to shine there.

"Bella." I said. I could say her name over and over, but each time a new thrill ran through my body.

"Edward, I'm sorry." she said, looking down, her side bangs covering her eye.

I reached over and brushed her hair out of her face, trying to touch her the least amount possible, though my hand itched to form itself around her face.

"We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." I said.

"No, I think we should." she said, embarrassed.

"Okay." I said, waiting patiently as she got her thoughts together.

"I've tried, Edward. I really have. I've been trying to think things out. See if being with you is the best thing for me. But I'm still afraid. There is a part of me—a big part—that doesn't feel good enough for you. I don't know if I can get over that. If I can stop thinking that you will disappear." Bella said.

"Bella, I could never leave you. I _need_ you. I _want_ you. You're the only girl I have ever loved. There was nobody before you, nobody after you. Just you. You're all I see. You're all I think about. I hate myself for ever leaving you. I hate that now—the best time for us to be together—you can't trust me. I make myself sick. It's my fault you don't trust me, and are going through all of this. It's my fault you were miserable. But I love you. Bella, please know that I love you. And I don't deserve you. You're too good for me. But I can never stop loving you, and I don't want you. Please Bella! Know that I love you!" I said desperately.

Bella sat in silence. Contemplating what I told her. A mix of emotions crossed her face, moving too fast for even me to keep up.

After 10 minutes of silence, Bella spoke.

"I love you too." she whispered.

Her words sunk in. I was happier than I had ever been before. But before I could even think out what I would do next, my arms were moving, as if by themselves.

They reached out and grabbed Bella—gently. They put her on my lap, and cradled her to my chest. I was sure she could hear my heavy breathing. I then realized that I was dry sobbing, but in happiness. I used my hand to lift Bella's face. I looked into her eyes. I saw that love and trust shone in them.

My own eyes were filled with love and happiness. I couldn't take it anymore. I pressed my lips against hers and kissed her.

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**Author's Note: The story is coming to a close. Maybe a few more chapters. I know this one is short. **


	22. Comfortable

**`Disclaimer: **

**I do not own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. **

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**Chapter Twenty Two**

**BPOV**

Edward and I had almost made love that night. _Almost._ Surprisingly enough I had to be the one to stop _him_. I had always had trouble seeing how he wanted me, but that night he proved how much he did. I think he got carried away for a minute, but he respected my wishes. As much as I wanted him, I didn't want my first time to be like that. I wanted it to be much more romantic.

We were silent for a while. I laid on the couch with Edward's arms wrapped protectively around me. I knew there was still plenty more things for us to discuss, but I wasn't ready to ruin the moment just yet. After a few more hours in silence, Edward leaned down and kissed me on the lips.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me.

"I'm thinking about us." I answered honestly.

"What about us?" he asked, secretly pleased that she considered them _us_.

"How this time will be different. How we have to act around school, around my friends. And how I'm going to tell Jacob and Alli." I said.

"I'll do anything to make this work, Bella." Edward said, gazing lovingly into my eyes.

"Well first of all, I'm going to continue living here. At least through high school. But you will see me so much, and I will come by your house enough that it won't even make a difference."

"I can live with that. What else?" he asked.

"Well we can't just go to school on Monday as a couple. I mean, I haven't dated anybody and if I show up with a boyfriend it will be kind of weird. So we take baby steps. Come sit with me and my friends at lunch, okay?"

"Anything for you," he said, giving me my favorite crooked smile.

I looked at the clock. It was around noon. Not to early to call Alli and Jake. They had to be first to hear the news.

"You don't mind if we have some guests over? Do you?" I asked Edward.

"Not at all." he said.

I grabbed my iPhone and dialed Jacob's number, hoping he didn't have any plans for the day.

"Jacob!" I said as soon as he answered.

"Bella. Waddup?" he asked.

"Can you and Alli come over today? I'll cook for you." I said, knowing if there was food involved Jacob would be eager to come.

"Oh definitely. We'll be over in one hour." Jacob said laughing.

"Okay see you then, bye." I hung up.

"I need to change and start making some tacos." I said to Edward, hopping off of him.

"Anything I can do?" he asked, smirking.

I made a quick list of the things I didn't have for tacos and sent Edward out to get it and change his clothes. I took a quick shower and put my hair in a high ponytail. Then I put on a long white tank top and paired it with some black leggings. When I entered the kitchen Edward was sitting on the counter waiting for me.

"Thank you." I said, leaning forward to kiss him.

"You're welcome." he said when I finally stopped kissing him.

"So are you up for making tacos?" I asked him playfully.

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**Authors Note: **

**So it's been a while. I've been so busy lately that I forgot about this story. **

**This chapter isn't really much, more of a filler but there will be more! **

**So please review so I can have feedback and know how to continue. **

**Thanks! **


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

BPOV

"Edward, love, check on the steak." I said playfully as I chopped up some tomatoes. Despite the fact that I had not eaten anything in years, I was still a great cook.

"It's cooked." he answered.

"Turn off the heat and chop the steak into small pieces please." I told him.

I moved the tomatoes into a bowl, and took the shredded lettuce and Mexican cheese out of the fridge. I put each in a separate bowl, and moved all three bowls into my small dining room.

"Bella, this is enough food for ten people at least." Edward said, eyeing me suspiciously.

"I guess you've never seen Jacob eat then." I told him smiling, "Put the cut steak onto the soft shells that don't already have chicken in them." I directed Edward.

By the time we were done the dining table was full of food. If I were human I would have been salivating over all of it. There was tacos with everything on them, and bottle after bottle of Coca Cola. Plus tons of salsa and guacamole for the tortilla chips.

"How do you do it?" Edward asked me.

"I don't really know. The food isn't really repulsive to me; I just never think to eat it. I guess I never lost my talent for cooking either." I said honestly.

"Speaking of repulsive, is that a werewolf I smell?" Edward asked.

"Be nice." I said as the doorbell rang.

Edward went into the next room so I could talk to Jacob and Alli alone without him there. I opened the door and hugged both Alli and Jacob and ushered them into the dining room.

"Well what's the occasion?" Jacob asked, eyeing the tacos hungrily.

"Must there be an occasion?" I asked faking innocence.

"No, but if there is feel free to share what it is." Alli said, eyeing my smiling face suspiciously.

"Well I guess there is something I wanted to tell you in person," I started, "It's good news don't worry."

"Can you spit it out already?" Jacob asked.

"Edward and I are back together." As I said it, Edward came into the room and wrapped his arms around me as I looked to see their reactions.

"Aw that's so sweet!" Alli said, "Tell me everything."

"Sit down, eat, I'll start from the beginning."

"Edward. I swear to God if you ever hurt Bella again…" Jacob began.

"I understand. You'd kill me." Edward said quite politely considering.

"Yeah, pretty much. Now that it's out of the way, I just want to say I'm glad you're with Bella. You can make her happy like nobody else." Jacob said sincerely.

"So I have your approval?" Edward asked.

"For now." Jacob said, "Now I'm going to eat these delicious tacos."

I sat and told Alli about how Edward and I got back together as she silently listened and enjoyed her tacos. I could see something was bothering Edward, but I didn't want to ask him about it in front of my friends.

Later, when Alli and I were washing dishes, Edward and Jacob went outside to have a talk. By that time I figured out what was bothering Edward, and I was beginning to worry about it. I figured that Edward must have triggered some of Jacob's memories of me when Edward left me. I knew it would bother Edward that he could hurt me that much, and to see what a mess I was must have really affected him. I just hoped that it wouldn't ruin the way things were already going, which was perfect. We were in love again, but there were no more problems in our relationship that I could see. I even could imagine Jacob and Edward as friends in the near future.

An hour later Jacob and Edward returned, Jacob wearing a guilty expression and Edward looking crushed.

"Well it was nice seeing you Bella, I think me and Alli should go." Jacob said, grabbing his things.

I hugged Alli and Jacob goodbye and turned to face Edward.

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**Author's Note: **

**This is kinda shorter than i wanted. Next chapter is in Edward's POV. His talk with Jacob. **

**Reviews are needed to continue because i'm not really as into this story as i once was, **

**so i need to know what people think of it. ideas on what you want to happen are appreciated. **

**Gracias! **


	24. Chapter 24

**Would anyone be interested in me finishing this story? Review and let me know, please. **


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